-My goal is to one day correctly guess the number of jellybeans in a jar, otherwise I fear that I will die a failure.
-I just recently learned that when your debit card expires, you don’t just get a new card but also an entire new number. It is the worst news I have ever heard. I just thought you got sent a physical new card, but I didn’t know I have to go into everything in my life and change the card number. I’ve been losing sleep every night just thinking about it. This should be illegal.
-I wonder how often I say a sentence that has never been said before. The other day I was eating some hot dogs and said, “I’m relatively new to the sauerkraut game but it’s real tasty.” I can’t imagine those eleven words have ever been said in order before.
-I really wish it was socially acceptable for men to carry a male purse. Phone, keys, and wallet is the standard trio for pockets, but there’s so much else I’d like to bring sometimes. A phone charger, a pack of gum, a Pepcid in case my heartburn flares up, pack of tissues, a water bottle, etc. But I just can’t do it. It’s crazy how tough men have it in society.
-People in their mid-to-late twenties often experience what they call a “quarter-life crisis.” But the average life expectancy in the US is about 78. So “third-life crisis” should technically be the correct term.
-There’s a meme that sometimes goes around saying how it’s “soooo mind blowing that 77 + 33 does not equal 100.” Well if you think that, you’re a fucking idiot. That’s just not how math works and it’s honestly embarrassing if you can’t wrap your little pea brain around that. I’m sorry for the aggression but this just really bothers me for some reason.
-I really like the taste of vanilla coke.
-I don’t want to be dramatic, but my new apartment building has a laundry room, and it might be the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. My last place didn’t have one, so I had no problem blowing $40 every other week for wash and fold. But now I feel like I can’t justify that with laundry right downstairs. I’d rather just not have it here at all. It’s quite a paradox. Apartment sites should really list “does NOT have a laundry room” under building amenities.
Thank you for your time.