-There’s a popular saying that goes “Not all heroes wear capes.” But in real life, I would say that absolutely no hero has ever worn a cape. It’s quite the opposite. In fact, if I saw someone on the street with a cape on, I would immediately head in the opposite direction and probably contact the local authorities.
-Potential plan for later in life. Open up a furniture store. Strictly sell ottomans. Call it The Ottoman Empire. Laugh at my brilliant pun for a few minutes. And then immediately shut it down because I have no interest in running a furniture company.
-If I could purge any group of people from the planet, it would be those who unironically use the Instagram caption “My life be like”
-I hate to sound like I’m working for big tech here, but I don’t get why people complain so much about personalized ads. To me, they’re kind of a good thing. Sure they’re “collecting our data and invading our privacy” or whatever, but I’d rather see ads for things I’m interested in than things I don’t care about. Personally, I’d rather see something about the Yankees or Survivor than an ad for a clarinet or some shit. Again, I do NOT work for big tech.
-Sometimes when binging an old TV show, I’ll look at its original air date and then try to think of what I was doing with my life on that day. I don’t know why. It’s just a thing that I do.
-We have a lot of problems in society, and one thing I think we can get better at is talking more about how I was the lead in all of my elementary school plays. From the little bird in “Are You My Mother?” to Charlie Brown in “Charlie Brown’s Valentine’s Day” where I had 26 lines. I’d just like to get a little more credit for this.
-It’s crazy to me that elevators don’t have an “undo” button. A lot of times people press the wrong floor and just can’t do anything about it. Or maybe your friend is being a hooligan and pressing all the buttons. There should be a way to undo his madness, or your mistake.
-At what age does being told you look older than you are go from complement to insult? If someone says you look 21 at 18, you take that as a compliment. Even at 24, if someone said they thought I was like 27, I’d probably take it in a good way. If you tell someone who’s 50 that they look 60, well that’s objectively bad. I wonder what the cutoff age is. How is it impacted by gender? All important things to consider if anyone wants to run this experiment for me.
Thank you for your time.