-I feel like August to September is the biggest month to month change. End of summer, school starts, football starts, the weather gets cooler. No other consecutive months have range quite like that.
-Here’s a good joke to use the next time you’re out on a date and it’s taking awhile to get your food. “Well call me a bad doctor because I’m losing patience!” Your date will start lip kissing you immediately.
-If you have ever seriously described yourself as “hangry” then that's a good indicator that I don’t respect anything about you as a person.
-There’s nothing worse than making an empty offer that someone takes you up on. Some would say it’s rude to make an empty offer, but I’d say it’s even more rude to take somebody up on one when they clearly have no intention of following through on it.
-One of my biggest weaknesses as a person is my inability to identify when someone has a glass eye.
-I feel like lately I haven’t done enough nice things for myself. I’m always giving, giving, giving to other people. But I really need to focus on me. So this month, as an act of self love, I will not be paying back my share of rent to my roommate. I deserve that.
-New thing I’m doing is bragging about staying in New York City during the entire pandemic so far. If someone says they fled to somewhere else for a few months, I’ll say something along the lines of, “Oh you got to leave? That must have been nice.”
-Little tip for anyone who is apartment hunting. The word “cozy” is just a really fancy way of saying “This apartment is way too small for grown humans to live comfortably in.”
-Sometimes when I order dinner but I’m not thrilled about the choice, I’ll mentally get myself in the mood for that food. Look at some Instagram pics, hit up Google Images, perhaps YouTube. Whatever it takes to get my mouth watering over that food.
Thank you for your time.