-I’ve always thought it’d be a funny prank if on your road test, you asked the instructor if you could turn on some music and then just blasted an extremely loud, aggressive song the entire time. I feel like they’d still have to pass you if you drive well. Nailing some three point turns as you blast “Azz and Tittiez” by Three Six Mafia.
-Seeing “back to school” supplies at stores sends shivers down my spine to this day. That day before school starts Staples trip still haunts my dreams.
-One of the most scathing, ruthless insults you can call someone is a “nincompoop.” There’s no coming back from that.
-I’m trying to work out a rap lyric based around a pun on the phrase “urban legend.” Something like “Straight from New York City, I’m a real urban legend.” I just need to think of the rest of the song and also start a rap career.
-I think we should stop telling kids who get cut from a high school team that “Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team.” First of all, he was a sophomore trying out and just didn’t make the varsity team. If you’re like a freshman upset you didn’t make the JV team, you are probably not Michael Jordan 2.0 and should just consider giving up the sport entirely.
-I don’t know why, but when I’m watching a TikTok or really any video, and they do an abrupt cut on the last word at the end, it always makes it a little bit funnier (the video cut off on the word "funnier" as a brilliant use of cinematography).
-Here’s one of the biggest problems in my life. When I get a bacon, egg, and cheese, I like salt and pepper on it but don’t want ketchup. People who put ketchup on eggs belong in Hell. Anywho, I never know how to order it. I can just say “salt and pepper” but people so often say “salt, pepper, ketchup” that I feel like they just assume I want ketchup too. Sometimes I’ll clarify “salt pepper but no ketchup” but then they might just hear the word ketchup and assume I want it. I’ve tried both ways and have still ended up with gross ketchupy eggs. I am a tortured soul.
-I really like these M&M yogurts (see video for visual)
-It becomes impossible to fall asleep when you start thinking about how weird the concept of falling asleep is.
Thank you for your time.