-Whenever I buy something at a store but don’t carry it out in a bag, I feel like people are gonna think I’m stealing it. The bag really functions as a proof of purchase more than anything.
-It’s always fascinating to me when your dream makes a storyline around something that’s actually happening. Maybe your phone rings and then there’s a phone call in your dream. Or there’s a knock on the door and then that happens in your dream. Some impressively quick work from the writing team behind our dreams.
-If someone does a really good impression of a good singer, are they just really good at impressions or really good at singing?
-Sometimes when watching something, I’ll wonder how many other people are watching it at the same time. For example, was I the only person in the world watching the Survivor: Palau finale from 8-10 PM on Friday night? I think there’s a legitimate chance I hold that distinction.
-One of the worst things that happens to me is when I really want to want a food but I don't actually want it. Sunday morning I really wanted to wake up and order some pancakes. But when I woke up I just wasn't in the mood for pancakes and couldn’t bring myself to do it. Ruined my whole day.
-When someone is singing along to a song, asking them who sings it and then telling them “Let’s keep it that way” after they answer, is one of the most vicious and ruthless things you can do to a person.
-One of my greatest talents is being able to look out a window and tell if it's raining or not. Some people struggle and can’t tell if it’s only a light rain. Not Tommy. Tommy knows.
-Lately I’ve been hitting people with a, for example, “Harrison! Just the guy I was looking for!” Usually I was not actually looking for that person, but it's a nice way of making someone feel important.
-People obviously love me and shower me with compliments all the time, but one consistent knock on me has been my terrible shoes. But that’s all changed this week after buying this flashy new pair. So it’s safe to say I’m the perfect man now.
Thank you for your time.