-I think using “Price Is Right rules” when guessing something is dumb. Whoever is closest wins. It doesn’t matter if you go over. Why is going over worse than going under? I refuse to partake in anything that uses Price Is Right rules and that is a hill I will die on.
-At a restaurant, you shouldn’t have to wait for your full party to arrive to be seated if it won’t change the table size. If there’s three of you waiting for a fourth, it doesn’t matter because you’re still getting a four person table. So even if he didn’t show up at all, it would have no impact. Now if you’re two people waiting for a third, that’s another ballgame because then you’re taking up and wasting a bigger table. Just wish all restaurants could have as much common sense as I do.
-Life pro tip I learned awhile ago that’s been real helpful: If you can’t decide between using the words “affect” or “effect”, just use the word “impact” instead. It works as both a noun and a verb. You’re welcome.
-There’s this little old lady in my apartment building always struggling with grocery bags. I offer to help and she declines but thanks me for my offer. In a dream world, I’ll one day offer my help and she’ll accept. In return, she will cook like meatballs and shit for me and my roommates. We could help her lift heavy things and she can make us soup. It could really be a great relationship if she’d just let me carry her fucking bags one time.
-I feel like a disproportionately high amount of Ubers are Toyota Camrys.
-We need a better system to show we’re ready to order food than just closing a menu. Everyone always says, “Oh if we’re all ready to order, let’s close our menus.” But sometimes I forget or like to leave it open so I remember the name of the order. I’m not sure what the solution is, this is just me identifying a problem and complaining.
-How long does an Uber ride have to be to ask for a bathroom stop? I’m hypothetically asking for a friend who is a 23-year-old with the bladder of an 80-year-old. Hypothetically speaking of course.
-Whenever I stop watching a show, I assume that it’s over. I outgrew Spongebob and just figured that they stopped making new episodes. Nope. Turns out that shit is still pumping out new episodes. It’s almost like there are more people in this world than just me. Weird.
Audience Thought Of The Week
If you have a thought you want to be included in this blog, hit me up on Twitter/Instagram @tomscibelli and I’ll include the best one of the week.
From @milesbramwit on Instagram
-A huge power move is getting a haircut in a suit. That guy has somewhere to be.
Thank you for your time.