-I don’t trust anybody who likes animal crackers. They are the world’s most overrated snack. They have absolutely no taste. It’s like eating cardboard. I just don’t get the appeal.
-When the chip doesn’t work on my card, I never know which way to swipe it. I forget which side is supposed to face where and always mess it up. I can’t tell if different card readers make you do it different ways, or if I’m just too dumb to remember even after all my failures.
-It’s always a rush beating someone in a walking race that they had no clue they were a part of.
-50 degrees in the fall feels a lot different than 50 degrees in the spring, and I think people dress differently because of this. In the fall, you hate it because you’re coming off warm weather and feel the need to bundle up now. In the spring, it’s a welcome sight after the dead of winter and you may try to ditch a jacket altogether to enjoy the beautiful day.
-I have no idea how to tell if a banana is ripe or not.
-I often wonder if I’d trust my future self if he time traveled to the present day and told me to do something. I do trust myself, but what if it’s an evil clone or some scientist that’s just fucking with me? I probably stress about it more than I should given the unlikelihood of the scenario.
-Whenever I see running liquid on a city street, I assume there’s a 98% chance that it’s human urine and avoid it at all costs.
-The Tarzan soundtrack slaps harder than any movie soundtrack of all time. Phil Collins, as the kids say, “went off king.”
-One of my goals in life: I walk into a local, small, family owned Italian Deli. The old man behind the counter is absolutely elated to see me. He could’ve retired long ago, but working makes him feel young and keeps him going. He says “Tommy, my friend! So great to see you handsome! The usual?” I smile and say “Of course, Enzo! You know it’s my favorite!” We make some small talk about how the world is changing so much, and it’s so different than when he was my age. I leave and tell him “See you soon!” hoping that this wasn’t the last trip I get to see the old fella.
Audience Thought Of The Week
If you have a thought you want to be included in this blog, hit me up on Twitter/Instagram @tomscibelli and I’ll include the best one of the week.
From @Kyle_woodford14 on Twitter
-Why is the word abbreviation so long?
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