I love Asian customs.
I talk about quite a few of them on this week's episode of Twisted History because Chaps was my co-host and he lived for 4 years in Japan.
Therefore, he was familiar with many traditions that I have always found fascinating including:
1) Never stick chopsticks into a bowl of rice… Also, do not pass food to someone by using chopsticks (these acts are reminders of funerals).
2) Never write someone’s name in red ink… It is believed that writing a person's name in red ink will shorten their life.
3) Never take or give something by only using one hand.
4) Always make a slurping sound when you eat noodles… Although it sounds fucking disgusting, it is a compliment to the chef, and slurping the noodles allows one to take noodles and air into their mouth at the same time, which works to further bring out the flavor of the noodles.
But there was another Asian custom that Chaps was unaware of.
Well, not so much a custom... More of an organization, and it is called "White Hands."
'White Hands' is a nonprofit organization in Japan that has a service called Ejaculation Help where medical sex workers help people with disabilities reach orgasms.
Now, If you wanna skip ahead and Google “white hands” in the hopes you will get to masturbate to Japanese women beating off crippled people, go right ahead, Clem. But please be patient because right away, you will be greeted with images of something called Raynaud's Disease.
This affliction causes some areas of your body... mainly your fingers and toes... to feel numb and cold due to smaller arteries that supply blood to your skin becoming narrow, limiting blood flow to affected areas.
During an attack of Raynaud's, affected areas of your skin usually turn white, and pictures of those alabaster appendages are nearly impossible to beat off to... Nearly.
But if you slog through all of that, you will eventually see the Niigata-based organization called White Hands.
WHITE HANDS- Your Jerk is our work!
“It’s very businesslike,” writes investigative journalist Kaori Kawai in Shukan Post. “A young woman slips on a pair of disposable gloves. She removes the man’s trousers and underwear and covers him with a bath towel. She dips a cloth in warm water and rubs him down. She slips a condom on him. The woman does not remove her clothes, engages in no superfluous sexual contact, and uses no erotic images. The entire procedure lasts 5 to 10 minutes on average.”
There is a 5-minute video of a young lady at work on a gentleman with severe cerebral palsy that you can find on Vice… It's beautiful that such a video exists, but it is also difficult to watch. I think I've given my editors enough to consider with that title so I will not post it here.
And finally... before you ask... there is NOT a more 'aggressive' organization called “White Mouths” HOWEVER Sydney, Australia has an organization similar to White Hands called Touching Base... And since prostitution is legal there, I am sure most of the D2A (disable-to-able) contact takes place "down under."
If you wanna learn more freaky shit like this, feel free to watch the attached video.
Enjoy the long weekend, and take a report.
In 2001, I was a gullible idiot.2
Reality Television Is The Final Sign Of The Apocalypse3
Hitler's Seven Dwarfs4
That time a mad Russian was trying to impregante women with monkey babies.
Handicapped People Are Getting Jerked Off In Japan6
Well, well, well… Get a load of this piece of shit.7
Uncle Chaps Is Talking Shit Again8
I Spent WAY Too Long Listening To Billy Joel This Month9
"TROUBLE IN THE SEWAHS!"10
I HATE RATS11
TRUE CRIME: History's Fattest Serial Killer Was From California12
Twisted History Turns 100 And Is Now On Video13
Kublai Khan Had 7,000 Concubines Vying For His Mongolian Beef14
Karl Malone is no Arnold Schwarzenegger15
Deontay Wilder Fucked Up My Trip To Saudi Arabia16
Roberto Clemente Was An Outstanding Human Being17
Your Lips Have Gotta Touch The Toe18
Diamond Jim Brady Had A Stomach 6x The Size Of A Normal Man19
The Twisted History Holiday Playlist20
The Tragic Story of Elena Mukhina21
Fleshlights, Russian Prisons, and Thanksgiving Leftovers22
Grandpa Fugate blue his whole family on this week's Twisted History of Canada!23
The Twisted History of WWI24
Here Is A List of Japanese Toilet Ghosts25
Last Week In Twisted History