Being the oldest (and de-facto wisest) person in the now-abandoned Barstool HQ, I took it upon myself to drop some parental knowledge on 3 of the firm's newest dads -
1) Super Bowl winner Willie Colon
2) Low self-esteem having Coley Mick
and 3) Easily distracted Big Cat
Looking at the dumb expressions on all 3 of their faces throughout my presentation leads me to believe that they were bagging very little of what I was raking, but if their kids all wind up being the derelicts that some of the nastier people in the comment section think they will be, at least I can say I tried.
Happy Fathers Day to all, and go to philips.com/norelcobarstool to see their full line of multi-groom products that make perfect gifts for any new dad.
Take a report.