Welcome to Lowering The Bar, the show where the rules are made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are like blue check mark's opinions.
The points on LTB do not matter (Sorry, Tommy) but integrity does. The most recent episode of LTB was a timed drinking competition that came with controversy as competitors attempted to Belichick / Earnie Adams the system and find loop holes.
The rules were …
- You must put the straw through the hole. (No piercing through the bottom of the pouch)
- No weapons.
Large was DQ'ed for bringing a switch blade to the bar. Illegal move for the drinking competition, and I'm about 99% blades like that aren't even street legal.
The real controversy was for first place between KFC and Kenjac. Are teeth a weapon? No more than hands. The rules never said you needed to use the straw, you just could not pierce the pouch from the bottom. While chewing aluminum and opening stuff with your teeth is technically "kid who wore cookie monster pajama pants to school behavior" it is a winning move - technically.
I believe Kenjac created a new way of competing. Like the Fosbury guy in the high jump who decided to start risking a snapped spinal column by flopping backwards over the bar.
That being said, I did promise an asterisks next to Kenjac's name to at least differentiate technique. Maybe one day there will be separate leagues, or everyone will adapt?
Until the league adapts, this is what the results will look like … congrats to Kenjac, but really KFC?
Lowering The Bar
Barstool Has Their Futures Read By A Witch2
Barstool Eats Full Sized Dehydrated Tarantulas3
Barstool Puts Their Lives On The Line For The Squid Game Cookie Cutter Challenge4
Barstool HQ Eats The Skin Off Chicken Feet5
Barstool Eats Boiled Chicken Livers6
Completely Unbiased Office Review Of Dave's One Bite Frozen Pizza7
Eating Bitter Tropical Island Papaya Shreds8
Back To School With Frog Dissection9
Barstool Goes Full Dive Bar And Gnaws On Pickled Pigs Feet10
Celebrating America By Eating Apple Pie Hotdogs11
Who Can Suck Down A Pouch Of Nostalgia The Quickest?
Shameful Controversy Plagues The Integrity of Lowering The Bar13
Refusing To Give Up On Summer By Eating Hawaiian Poi14
This Is What Daddy Calls, "Bringing Home The Bacon."15
The Best Live Show Is Feits Suffering16
Barstool HQ Chows Down On Cow Stomach17
Barstool Attempts The Last Dab Hot One's Challenge18
Which Blogger Is The Quickest Typer In The Office?19
How Quickly Can Barstool Bloggers Eat One Hotdog?20
Lowering The Bar: The 100% Not Rigged Ring Toss Game21
I Caught Kelly Keegs Cheating At The Bar22
Who Has The Biggest DILF At Barstool Sports?23
A Tale As Old As Time: Hank Gets Embarrassed In A New Sport24
The Greatest Spectacle In Racing: The Barstool HQ 50025
Lowering The Bar: Gulping Down Chunky Grass Jelly Drink