I have no clue what number episode this is so we're going to pick 11 in honor of Cody Parkey being a little baby back bitch. So here we are. Stool Scenes Chicago episode 11.
This one's special because Dave Portnoy joins our hot dog argument with the burning passion of 1,000 white hot suns. Personally it's something I've been longing for since the tube steak tennis match originated years ago and quite frankly, Pres delivered. Just a preposterous situation that I'm happy to recap summarily:
- Eddie has a famous hot dog place he loves. It's his favorite and it's the best. Gene & Judes. Frank the Tank gave it a grand slam and everybody around town loves it.
- WhiteSoxDave generally thinks hot dog places are overrated because it's just a hot dog. This is the general theme with many subarguments stemming from here. But point is Eddie appreciates it, WSD does not.
- Pres was underwhelmed with Gene & Judes which then spawned an argument with Eddie, which opens the I TOLD YOU SO door for Dave, which leads to a 3 men giving us the Triangle Offense of arguments. Nobody has a fucking clue what's going on but it's working. Classic Tex Winter.
The argument got so bloated that I had to drive up to my childhood best friend's house in Park Ridge on a Monday afternoon to get a package of Pat LaFrieda hot dogs just so we could cook them at the office and settle this debate. They retail $24.99 for an 8 pack. My buddy was waiting on his porch with the hot dogs for me. These were the only dogs Dave Portnoy would stand behind. We had to go above and beyond to get him his hot dogs and we did. Worth noting my buddy's wife would shortly thereafter give birth to a beautiful baby girl. That has nothing to do with this story but welcome to the world Little Baby J.
Anyways turns out Portnoy hates frozen hot dogs. Also turns out Jay Cutler partnered with Pat LaFrieda on these hot dogs. So Dave gives him a call to bitch about frozen hot dogs but then Jay Cutler kinda told Dave that's a stupid thing to complain about. All hot dogs gets frozen at some point (thank you, Chief) and these were the best.
Long story short we went heavy hot dog. We also streamed with Big Cat and we also opened a new bar in River North and a bunch of other shit. 40 minutes is a long time for a Chicago Stool Scenes but this episode was worth it.
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