Twitter Has Reportedly Closed Down Their Office Buildings And Deactivated Badge Access Because Elon Musk Is Worried About Employees Sabotaging The Company

Clem11/18/2022 12:45 AM

I admit I've long been skeptical of Elon Musk since I never knew much about him other than him having a name of someone that sounds smart. But in his three week run as Chief Twit, he has made Twitter an app you have to go on no matter how much of a digital hellscape it has become because there is essentially a real life Silicon Valley episode taking place every single day. We have mass layoffs, awful ideas instantly blowing up in the company's face, execs getting fired the day before they were set to lock in millions in stock payouts, bankruptcy whispers, demands of everyone ramping up their work level to Hardcore, and people getting canned for what they said in a chat room. There are like 10 other blogs from the last few weeks, but you guys get the idea.

However I think it's fair to say that shutting down your building and deactivating badge access from your employees because you can't trust them to not sink the company from the inside like a bunch of soldiers inside a Trojan Horse is next level shit since last I checked, you need employees to work in order to grow a company. Sure you are running the risk of a corporate coup d'etat triggered by people whispering "tsetse fly" to each other in person.

But when you have a multi billion dollar company, you should probably trust the people you pay to grind HARDCORE at the office, do some heavy scrums, and whatever other tech buzzwords that keeps a websites with a bazillion people afloat. In fact, I feel like having your employees in the office is better than having them at home, where they can plan out their takeover without Big Brother's watchful eye gazing above them along with the horde of people you just laid off.

Alright, that's the third corporate movie/show I've referenced in the blog, so I think I got my point across that being worried the employees you pay are actively looking to sabotage your massive platform is a bad thing. The music video for the song Sabotage, however, is a great thing.

Also good thing the Twitter suits added this at the end of their message so we don't get the play-by-play of Twitter's demise from a blue checkmark plugged in tech reporter whose checkmark I have to click on to make sure they aren't someone that spent $20 to appear to be a blue checkmark plugged in tech reporter since the stories become more outrageous every single day.

UPDATE: I guess the employees printed out that message to wipe their asses with it because it sounds like some of the supernerds that keep the social media company we waste our lives on afloat may not need their badges because they are #done.

If this is the end of Twitter, it was a beautiful run. I mean it has been absolute hell the last couple of years and started sucking once all the political riff raff began. But there was a time when it was glorious, mostly during the Golden Age that insiders call the Crying Jordan Meme Age.