The Top 50 Sounds On Earth, Ranked
My pal Mike posted this tweet earlier talking about best sounds to randomly encounter.
As you all know, I am a guy who ranks things, especially things that people tend to get irrationally invested in, so this seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to dive into yet another ranking list. How many, though? There are a nearly infinite number of sounds, so after polling some coworkers around the office and taking to twitter, I decided the top 50 sounds was the way to go. Many are sports, which is generally just ear porn, many are not. Understand that with the number of sounds that exist in the world, making the top 50 is an insane honor in itself, but there is still certainly a hierarchy among the best of the best. So, here it goes.
50. The slap of a great high five - Elite sounds, incredible accomplished feeling to accompany it.
49. Crickets on a summer night - An incredible sound. Reminds me of open windows and beautiful summer nights.
48. A busy restaurant - Probably a good deal of nostalgia in play here since I miss going out to eat. But there is something beautiful about a bunch of different sounds from different people becoming one.
47. The NBA Draft pick is in sound - There's just something about it. It used to be fresh off a cacophony of boos for David Stern (RIP) but is still something just as beautiful with Adam Silver now announcing picks
46. Sound of an old-school cell phone turning on - Go to 54 seconds and enjoy that sweet, sweet sound. Reminds me of booting that bad boy up to fire off a pay per text message to your crush.
45. An engine revving: Reminds me of the Fast & Furious movies, which are spectacular. Frankly, I'm not a big car guy but too many people submitted this to ignore, so I couldn't just not include it.
44. A dog’s nails clicking on a hardwood floor - GIANT bonus points for if the sound is created when your dog is running to greet you before they can see you.
43. Lightsaber going up - Here you go, fucking nerds.
42. Cocktail being shaken (shook?) - Another nostalgia play because I miss bars. However, still a great sound. Much more enjoyable in a less-crowded, nice bar where it isn't a college-aged bartender shouting in your face, but great either way.
41. Loose gravel under tires - The sound of rolling up to a construction site, but also the sound of leaving one at the end of a hard day of work
40. Fresh can of tennis balls opening - Now, if this was a list of smells, we may be talking top 10, but we are simply doing sounds. The pop, the hiss, the crack. Still incredible.
39. When you hear the specific part of an old song you used to use as a ringtone - I honestly don't know how specific to me this is, but it happens every once in a while and boy is it the best. It jumps out in a way I cannot even emphasize. It just hits different and is such a nice surprise whenever it happens.
38. Lighter flick - Great sound on its own, but even better when you consider how many times it was used to start early 2000s rap songs. Mixtape central.
37. Bubble wrap popping - I'm starting to realize a ton of these are nostalgia plays, but I don't care. The sound effect was a beautiful result of the fun that popping bubble wrap is.
36. The few moments of static when you put a record on - An imperfect reminder of when it was much more difficult to fire up a song, but knowing that one of your favorite songs is coming, this pause is a beautiful lead in.
35. The collection of airplane seatbelts unclipping when you land - Not only is the staggered collection of sounds beautiful in its own right, it also signals the end, an incoming stretch and maybe a vacation ahead. I couldn't find a video of this, unfortunately.
34. Dog sighing. A pup popping its head down right before a nap and giving that little breath out? Beautiful. Also, I love this fucking angry grumpy looking guy in this video.
33. Poker chips shuffling - There is maybe no feeling as good as being on a heater at the casino, watching your pile grow and just clicking away with your winnings. This video actually just sent chills down my spine since I haven't been in a casino in…a while.
32. Peeling the plastic off a new electronic device - The little bit of static electricity, the beautiful, untouched screen underneath. Raw dogging the phone for however long is a great feeling and this is the sound that leads to it all.
31. Cleats clicking on pavement - You just left practice. You and the boys are walking back to your high school locker room, exhausted. The symphony of clinks is nearly deafening. Perfection.
30. An old school gumball machine - The click of the quarter, the gumball dropping down, the race to the bottom, the clink at the bottom and the metallic ping of the lever opening. What is better than that? (29 things).
29. Roulette ball - The flick of the dealer starting it, followed by the spinning sound and finally dropping into the slot. Honestly, very similar sound to the gumball, but a chance to win money rather than spending gets the nod.
28. A vacuum sucking up a nice pile of crumbs - Okay I have never really understood the ASMR thing, but this one specifically just…made me kind of get it. There is nothing sexy about sucking up a dirt pile but that sound is undeniably incredbile.
27. T-Shirt cannon firing - Is there a greater rush as a child than hearing that thump of a t-shirt cannon and seeing one come barreling your way? There very well may not be. T-shirt cannon technology has also seemingly really developed a considerable amount in my lifetime if they are now just ripping off gatling guns now. Honestly awesome.
26. Skates carving ice - Just let the video speak for itself. I don't need to say anything at all.
25. Foot stepping into fresh snow - The crisp crunch brings us all back to snow days and playing with our friends and neighbors in a fresh snow.
24. Leaves crunching under feet - Similar to snow, but less cold and frankly a better sound. Similar nostalgia of playing, football and tossing a football around with your pals. Diving into a big fan pile of freshly raked leaves rules.
23. Muffled music while stepping into a bathroom/bedroom at a party or club - There is something about loud ass music to shift into background noise as you pair off to either piss or hangout with a smaller group. A quick sense of relief and break from the madness.
22. Money in a money counter - I imagine if you are a bank teller, stripper or drug dealers this sound probably gets quite repetitive, but I am none of those three so the idea of having enough money to shuffle for an extended period of time and that pace is appealing both audio-logically and emotionally.
21. Zipping up a backpack after a day of work - The end of the workday. Sometimes this sound is best when you hear it from your boss or someone else, signaling it is also time for you to depart. Either way, you're leaving. it is also a similar sound to unzipping a suitcase when starting a vacation, which is bonus points, but also great.
20. The first note to Runaway - Regardless of how you personally feel about Kanye West, a controversial guy, nothing in music may hit quite as hard as this first one does. This video is incredible.
19. Coffee pouring into cup - I'm sure I'll get some hardos talking about how they don't drink coffee and how it is stupid, but I don't care and anyone who drinks coffee and understands how fundamentally important it is to their existence will undoubtably agree with me here. Incredible sound.
18. The HBO Intro - You may be thinking of The Sopranos, maybe Game of Thrones, Enoutrage, The Wire, Succession, The Leftovers (criminally underrated), Curb or something else. Regardless, greatness is coming and I get a physical, incredible reaction when I hear that sound.
17. Sizzling fajita in Chili's - No meal turns heads in a fucking Chili's like the sizzling fajitas. The waiter busts through the kitchen door, smoky ass vegetables and meat screaming on a 900 degree skillet as they rush to the table. Every other person in the restaurant thinks "god dammit why didn't I order that." It's dinner and a show. Not to even mention the smell. Although inhaling even an iota of that smoke is enough to put you out like it is mustard gas, so be careful.
16. Lawn mower in the summer - A lawn mower mowing is a bonafide symbol of summer. Growing up in a relatively traditional neighborhood, I remember days of my youth where it felt like every single family was mowing at the same time while me and my brother were outside in the backyard playing. Even today, I don't hate being woken up sometimes by this sound, since I know that means it is likely due to be a beautiful day.
15. Snapple pop top - This kid really made us wait a while to get the sound, but it is in there. Opening a Snapple tops any other beverage. The pop itself is incredible, and the clicking action afforded with the cap after is just an incredible bonus.
14. Mike Breen's "BANG" - The best call in sports. Nothing like it. All I need to say.
13. Back cracking sounds - I miss the days of cracking my back to nearly the point of paralysis on those desks in high school. I have legitimately considered purchasing one. What other adults who have money do, is go to a chiropractor. These ASMR videos are so popular for a reason. The sweet relief that accompanies them is amazing too.
12. Hockey puck hitting cross bar - I am not a giant hockey guy, I'll admit that. My roommate, however, watches a ton so I am familiar enough with the sights and sounds. I'm also not a moron and do have ears and can hear how perfect a sound this is.
11. Crackling fire - Another personal symbol of summer for me, mostly because I've never lived somewhere with a fire place indoors, so to me a crackling fire is an outdoor fire pit. Regardless of where the wood is burning, it is a sound rivaled by almost nothing else. This is a popular enough sound that millions of people watch just a video of a fire to get the sound impact.
10. A babbling brook - The choice of sound machines for the history of time for a reason. Calming, beautiful, serene. Personally, makes me feel like I have to piss, which is not my favorite thing but not my least favorite thing by any means. A great sound, but not even the best water sound.
9. Children laughing - Full disclosure, I do not have a child, but I do have a niece and children laughing is just objectively one of the best things ever. Infectious, fulfilling. It is everything. Had to trust SVP here too. He has seldom led me astray.
8. Distant waves crashing on shore - The distant is key here. Being right on a beach is great. Awesome sounds, but hearing it in the distance, just that slight, small hint of the sounds is absolute perfection. This may be the most calming sound on earth.
7. A home run getting pimped - Another one that really doesn't need an explanation. Sports sound porn.
6. Basketball going through a chain net - A lot of this top is sports. That is because I am a sports guy, but also because, as I said earlier, sports just provide some of the best sounds. It is honestly a travesty that chain nets are not used more often. It makes sense, since they're much more dangerous and absolutely tear up basketballs, but imagine getting a Steph Curry game-winning three through a chain net? That would be incredible.
5. Beer cracking open - The only drink-related sound that tops Snapple. Beer is good. (Not airport beers, bad). Knowing a beer coming is great. Thousands of good memories and good times associated with that crack.
4. A basketball dribbling in an empty gym - Anyone who has spent any time putting up shots in an empty middle-high school gym will understand this. Alone with your thoughts, the only sound being sneakers squeaking and the ball hitting the (probably) dusty floor.
3. A golf ball plopping into the hole - I can see this upsetting some people, especially it being above the crack of the bat and the chain net, but there is a key factor here. The silence that exists on a golf course makes it that much more impactful. A long, silent put clinking in the hole falls behind only two sounds on this planet.
2. Rain on a tin roof - The most calming sound of all calming sounds. You're stuck inside and while it can be nearly deafening, it begins to become the only sound you can hear and it is perfect. Though it is loud, it makes it easier to relax and sleep. It is the number one sound of nature colliding with modern development and it is unrivaled in that category.
1. The moment of brief silence between a game-winning shot being released followed by the explosion when it goes in - Tens of thousands of people collectively shut the hell up for a brief second before absolute chaos ensues. There is truly nothing else in this world like it. This also applies to hail mary's, of course, and some other moments as well, but is never encapsulated quite like it is in the atmosphere of a closed-in arena.
Sounds rule.
You can find some of my other rankings blogs here:
The 25 Best Cell Phones Of The Early To Mid 2000s, Ranked
The Original 30 Backyard Baseball Kids, Ranked
Twitter Asked, So I Must Deliver. The Original 151 Pokemon, Ranked
People Are Begging For It, So Here It Is. The States, Ranked
Summer Is Here, So Let’s Rank The Best Types Of Bodies