Finish This Meal For $25,000 | Barstool's Most Dangerous Gameshow FinaleWATCH NOW

Can You Be Considered The "King Of New York" If You Can't Squash A Video Of Your Girlfriend Getting Arrested From Going Public?

I was hoping to make this a Quadblog about the video where Aaron Judge's girlfriend dropped his name while being arrested for a DUI. But it appears Kate beat me to the punch batting cleanup, so I will be in the five hole unless someone else publishes another blog about this story.

I'm not here to talk about this from a Yankees angle like Hubbs did, a legal angle like Jerry did, a pageviews angle like Kate did, or a completely unbiased national angle like Jared did. I am a New York blogger so I will approach it from the New York angle.

Can you truly be considered the King of New York if you can't even squash a video of your girlfriend being arrested for DUI in Arizona?

The short answer is no. The long answer is hahahhahahahah fuuuuuuuuuuck no. I may not be as savvy as some other bloggers in the firm. But even I realize if you wear sit atop the throne of the media capital of the planet, your name rings out in not just only the five boroughs but around the country and maybe even the world. Being successful in New York has its fair share of Cons, but it also has a buttload of Pros and I believe that is one of them. I think we all know if the name you say when getting arrested carries enough clout, you pretty much have a Get Out Of Jail Free card in life. That holds true for precincts, media companies, and pretty much any other industry from New York to LA and even places like lil' ol Scottsdale.

HOWEVAH, that has to be the name of someone who is at the absolute zenith of what they do or at least does more than occasionally play baseball. I'm not saying it's fair, but it's apparently the rules. Don't hate the playa, hate the game. Would a name like Pete Alonso carry that much weight? Who am I to say? Luckily Pete and his fiance have not been involved in any malfeasance since the Polar Bear took over the baseball world so we don't have to worry about it. But I think this video proves where Sir Aaron stands in the hierarchy of New York and the world.


Today's lessons for those keeping track at home:

1. Don't fucking drink and drive. 

2. Don't drop a name unless you know it will get you out of trouble

3. If an arrest video of you goes viral during a sports blackout due to a pandemic, it's going to get blogged at least five times on Barstool.

Now here's some Meatloaf to keep the fresh content rolling into Memorial Day Weekend!