Hey Hubbs, that's how you write the headline for this story, you absolute dickhead. I mean, Aaron Judge's girlfriend gets a DUI (selfish, irresponsible) and somehow Hubbs comes out looking worse than her in his blog.
The part that is going to get blown out of proportion is the name drop. It'll be in every headline but I refuse to put it in mine. She constantly says, "do you know who my boyfriend is?" and it would make you think based on a shitty attention grabbing headline that she's acting like a douchey trust fund kid at the club who won't get in but keeps yelling "do you know who my dad is?" That's just not what this is at all. She clearly feels horrible and knows that this is going to get out and create a hassle for 99 back in New York. The cop says that won't happen, but he clearly isn't familiar with the New York media at all. She barely wants to say his name until the cop gets it out of her at the end.
Oh, give me a fucking break, Hubbs. She's dropping Aaron Judge's name to save HIM the embarrassment? Is that why she said, "This is gonna be bad for me" before she dropped her first "Do you know who my boyfriend is?" He's not coming on your podcast, bro. It's okay to make fun of his girlfriend for thinking that dating a baseball player would place her above the law and allow her to drive home shitfaced while she's slurring her words after two bottles of wine. Yeah, I think she confused glasses with bottles there.
I mean, to quote your blog, Hubbs, she blew a .125 at the scene and then a .169 and .181 at the police station. Once you're blowing higher than Gary Sanchez's batting average, we have to put you in jail no matter who your boyfriend is. Maybe if Aaron Judge played more than one full season of baseball in his entire career then the cops would've known who he was and spared his girlfriend from ending up on TMZ and sounding like an idiot.
PS -- I genuinely do feel bad for Aaron Judge here. This girl was in Arizona. If she really wanted to protect her man, all she had to do was keep quiet, bite the bullet and take the DUI. Saying "Do you know who my boyfriend is" six million times was never going to be a get out of jail free card for her. All that did was raise eyebrows and now here we are. Poor Judge has to deal with this mess, and now I've gotta deal with Hubbs' blog mess. Nobody wanted any of this.
PPS -- The situation's not funny, but it is kinda gonna be funny when she hears "all rise" at her court hearing.