The Barstool Sportsbook Has Arrived In MichiganLearn More

PENGUIN WATCH UPDATE: Another Flock Of Birds Has Escaped From The Shedd Aquarium

If this is your 1st Penguin Watch blog then by all means: 

This makes blog #5 and honestly that number can't get high enough for me. Any time you shove quarantined Shedd penguins down my throat you're gonna get my attention and this is no exception. What started as a fun little prank has quickly evolved into the crested penguin population getting a big taste of freedom. First they let them roam the halls outside their exhibit. Then they got to explore the exotic fish tanks before fucking with the Belugas. And just last week we saw one of them hanging out on the front steps and now we have group exercise class on the front steps. 

Quarantine absolutely fucking blows but if you can't enjoy a couple penguins on the front steps of the aquarium then you probably suck even worse. Like imagine standing behind the glass your entire life and being completely miserable like these penguins and then completely out of nowhere you get to compete for the stingray record, or hit the gift shop or go check out some sweet sea lion trim. I'm not calling it the good life but as far as miserable soul-crushing captivity goes, these guys don't have it too shabby. 

Now the bad news: Penguin Watch started from Boat Watch and that reminds me that I'm supposed to be sailing Summer Solstice in the next couple weeks with my buddy Lucas. If you don't remember that's the boat that got stranded in the Chicago River that I investigated for 2 weeks in the fall. 

So here's the trade off. I don't get to dump my tits out on the river while we're in quarantine, but the penguins get a taste of freedom for a little bit. It's not a perfect balance but I'm not a perfect man so who am I to bitch. If this is the one big connected ecosystem like the hallucinogens suggest, you should be okay with it too. 

PS - s/o David Attenborough's voice