Delirious Thoughts And Ramblings During A Dad's Second Trip To The Delivery Room

I wanted to write this blog mostly because I'm sitting in a hospital delivery room watching my wife suffer the joy of childbirth. Me? I'm just trying to watch some TV and waste the time as I sit in my recliner. Tough times. 

But really this is my platform. I don't have a show or a podcast or anything else. We've always been told to be ourselves and I'm someone who is pretty open with blogging about my family and everything else. So here we are. I know Coley did this first, but this is for the dads out there and slightly different. This is the 2nd kid for me. Still weird. That's what I want to write about. Also I have a lot of thoughts on zero sleep.

-I'm jealous that John Rich can just write random sentences and the blog makes sense. Incredibly jealous. This might work out that way, not really sure. More of like a journal. Read John Rich though. Great blogger. Also shout out my teammate. 

Plug a show early. Blogging 101. 

- Pretty bizarre how I just sit here. My wife is currently filling out forms and I'm barely listening. Mostly because where I don't have to sit anywhere near her. Hope it's working out. 

- Like I said this is my second son. Couldn't be more different than the first time around. Had everything picked out, we currently are debating middle names. In the hospital room. As I blog. Why do we even have middle names? I've never really understood the middle name. No one gets called by their middle name unless they are in trouble or super rich. Middle names only matter if you can make a cool initial name like CJ, TJ, CT, etc.*

*Thank God my parents never thought to call me BJ. Dad could have been a real dick with that. Appreciate it big guy. 

- The Mark Stoops vs John Calipari drama has been going on longer than this delivery. Again, shut the fuck up everyone involved. 

- Football weather is great. Seeing everyone say football weather is going to really get old soon. Long sleeve t-shirt + shorts is ideal. Give me that. We don't need a saying for everything. 

- Sand sucks. No real reason for this. Just thinking of the beach. I was able to get on said beach, someone else wasn't. Makes you think. 

- I got a kick out of this tweet


"Glad we're not going that way" is HIGH on my list. I can't stop saying it. I say it all the time during road trips. Sure I've said others but that's the one. That and "we needed the rain" - especially since I moved into a new house. 

- That's now 3 plugs + a BFW tweet. Might try to set a record. 

- Still in the hospital room. 

- If they fucking change the NCAA Tournament I'm going to lose my mind. I'm not even exaggerating when I talk about how much I love the event and the sport (hmm maybe a podcast would help). 64 teams is perfect. 68 teams is fine. 80 or no mid-majors? End me. I can't bring this kid in the world knowing he won't get the normal, awesome NCAA Tournament. 

- Slept through all of Sunday night, which was truly a gift. I feel bad for light sleepers. Nurses coming in, machines coming in, me snoring. That said, a little trust tree guys. Don't let any woman who has given birth to see this. What is with the fact we gotta sleep like fucking Michael Scott at the end of the bed? Look at this thing. 


Don't even think of complaining to your significant other though. Same goes for nurses. They don't care. 

- Contractions, not for me. Chalk that one up as a big thanks to being a guy. Shout out women for that. They don't look fun at all. 

- Then it happened on Monday. A relatively quick delivery or at least start to it. I had to hop in action (I was mid-blog because I was told the blog don't sleep) and didn't bother to turn off the Liverpool/Crystal Palace match. At 4:05 my second son was born and promptly saw Liverpool tie it up with 10 men. Thinking there might be some bad juju with this kid already - fuck Liverpool. 

- I had to hold and help with my wife's leg. I didn't have to do it last time. The responsibility was a tad too much for my liking. I'm a guy who is there for support. Now I was worried about pushing her leg back too much or too fast. I also dropped it the first time thinking I was done. That's on me. Also how the TV stayed on. 

- I disagree with Nate. 

- First, I'm not a pumpkin fan. It's a semi-hot take, but it's my personal taste. You don't have to yell at me about it. Also, I hate that everything is coming too early (probably the point of this blog, am I right?). I saw an Oktoberfest beer last weekend. It's August. That should come out in October - maybe late September. Same goes for pumpkin beer or any fall stuff. Let me have my summer stuff in summer, not March. 

- The kid seems to like nipples. I like nipples. Bonding 101 like you read about. 

- I was in charge of sending out the announcement that everyone was doing well (and still are) to our friends and family. That's a lot of pressure that dads need more credit for. Who do you send it to? Who gets the individual text compared to a group text alert? Gotta come up with something creative, can't just copy and paste to everyone. Nailed it though. 

- I'm not joking when i say I will retire from the game of basketball the moment I sniff one of these two guys can beat me. That's called being a good dad. Do you remember when you beat your dad for the first time ever? Best day in the world and worst day in the world (for him). I will be going dad style and backing down from the high paint like I'm Mark Jackson. Elbows will be thrown. I will not lose. I will fake an injury. 

- There's nothing like a playoff baseball game at Camden Yards. Get hot, Birds. 

Giphy Images.


- In all seriousness, being a dad is awesome. Some that read this can relate, some can't. I'm pretty sure it's also the only thing you do one time and feel like a veteran. I have forgotten everything when it comes to having a baby. Was very confused as to why he wasn't talking right away. We'll work on it.

- So much shit. By shit I mean poop. By that I mean, I can't believe we wipe people's asses. 

- Both kids have more and better hair than me. Feel like I sacrificed enough. 

- My dad showed up to the hospital wearing the same shirt as me. Same color, same logo everything. How does this happen? How do I have the same t-shirt as a 62-year old man? Not sure what that says about either of our styles. 

- Boy dad. Plug. 

Subtle and on topic. That's how you plug. 

- Speaking of sports and my old man. They will not have a choice like I did. I was told from a very, very young age that being a Giants/Knicks fan was not negotiable. That's everyone in the family. Same goes for hating UNC, Duke (and NC State/FSU) just because my old man went to Wake. But the decision I had was baseball. Dad told me not to be a Mets fan. Being a young, dumb idiot who LOVES Brady Anderson I picked the O's. Don't like kids make decisions We're all morons. Sorry kids.  You're stuck with Giants/Knicks/Orioles/Kentucky/Tottenham. I make the rules.

- I really, really need this to be the end of the Cal vs. Stoops, Basketball School vs. Football School nonsense.

Giphy Images.


- One of the first people I texted after the kid was born was Clem because I wanted him to blog something. He yelled at me when he found out for doing work in the delivery room. Again, guys are somewhat irrelevant in this process. 

- People get weird about other kid's names. Not sure why. My guys are somewhat (mostly) based on some of sports related stuff. Wife picked it out. Smart all the way around to get me to agree to names. 

- The name Brady has been ruined for me because of Tom. If I wanted to name anything Brady after Anderson, everyone would think Tom. A real pickle. 

- Fuck Louisville.

- Fuck Duke while we're at it. 

- In all seriousness, I can't stress how weird it is the 2nd time around here. The first is filled with anxiety and almost an uneasiness. The second time is different - that's the only way I can explain it. There is no baby shower. There's barely an announcement. Yet you blindly agree that they are as important as the 1st. 

- Don't change the NCAA Tournament (might just end every blog that way).