Daily Mail- A Ryanair passenger is facing a hefty fine after tiring of waiting for permission to leave his plane and leaving in this unconventional way via an emergency exit and the wing. The balding man decided on his crazy exit from the aircraft after it reached Malaga Airport from London Stansted on Monday night an hour late and passengers were kept waiting again to get off. Ground staff ordered him back on the plane and he was held there until Civil Guard officers arrived to take him away and record his details.
Shocked Spaniard Fernando Del Valle Villalobos, who filmed the unnamed man making his unconventional exit, said: ‘Yesterday on January 1 after leaving London an hour late and arriving in Malaga only to be left waiting another 30 minutes inside the plane, with no explanation as to why from Ryanair, this man decided he wasn’t going to wait any longer. ‘He activated the emergency door and left, saying, ‘I’m going via the wing.’ It was surreal.’
I don’t know who this man is but he is now one of my heroes. We have all been where this guy was after a day of flying with delays. Flying turns everybody into impatient New York assholes from the drive to the airport all the way to the baggage claim. It’s basically a giant race to the same place until you hit the refractory period on your ride back home or to the hotel. That goes double as your plane delays continue to stack up as the pilot makes up some excuses for why it has happened and a timeline that is usually a bunch of bullshit.
But this guy said fuck all that and just left out the window just like everyone that has ever sat in an exit row has dreamed of. If airlines want to charge you more for that extra leg room, they better be ready for you to make your own personal exit as well. There is a reason you hear roughly 800 seatbelts click at the same exact time when the pilot turns off the seatbelt sign after landing. To get out of that cramped tin box ASAP. Sure you are just going to wait while standing up instead of being seated. But it’s just the thought that you can get off a second earlier than the assholes behind you that keeps the fire of competition lit. And with today’s technology, you don’t even need to go through the airport to get to the taxi line. You just fire up your Uber app and can get home while all the other suckers are still waiting to get off that plane that needs to find a gate. Sure there is a chance you may get shot for violating some FAA rules. But with Trump making the commercial aviation skies great again, you should be gucci.
UPDATE: I missed the fact that this jabroni just sat on the wing after jumping out the exit instead of actually walking to the airport that was literally in the first paragraph of the article. I’ll chalk it up to Christmas break rust.
He appeared to be talking to ground staff trying to dissuade him from going any further. Fernando, who was on the same flight, said afterwards: ‘He was sat on the wing for quite a while until the crew managed to get him back inside.
Fuuuuuuuck this guy. Biggest half measure of all-time right there that just caused a delay for everyone else. I wish Mike Ehrmantraut was part of that airport’s security staff and put him into a sleeper hold until this guy turned purple and passed out. Be better at being a bad boy, random passenger guy. And be better at being a blogger, Clem.