Dan LeBatard Hates New Englanders and the Fact Our Receivers are White

Patriot receivers are gritty, high-motor overachievers with character, heart and deceptive speed. Atlanta’s are athletic and articulate.

— Dan Le Batard Show (@LeBatardShow) January 24, 2017

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CBS Boston – The recent history ESPN has with the Patriots — and, consequently, Patriots fans — has been a bit messy. … And now, for whatever reason, ESPN radio and TV host Dan Le Batard wants to make that relationship worse. Much worse.

“I have found that fan base to be — and this is, I’m speaking in generalities here — hugely humorless and so serious about their teams that it prevents them from seeing humor. So, you point out that their receivers are white, or you do what I did on Twitter today they don’t get the sarcasm. … God, I’m always fighting with the people in that fan base, because they feel persecuted, right?

“They haven’t actually cheated. They don’t actually have a murderer who was a tight end. All those things happened to them through injustice.

“It’s a fairly amazing thing. I’m guessing that I’m guessing they don’t think that they’ve cheated. They think they’re persecuted at every turn. …

A co-host then brought up the snow plow game from 1982 as well as the drunken fan pulling the fire alarm last week as more evidence of the cheating culture that persists in the Patriots organization. …

“And this has happened multiple times to this particular organization. And the first one was not a joke. It wasn’t this, it wasn’t Ted Wells muddied. The first one, they cheated. They did. They were spying on practices. Period.”

For openers, just to steal a line from Bill the Butcher, I don’t give a Tuppenny fuck about your moral conundrums, you meatheaded shit sack. Even in the time it took me to type that sentence, I invented 11 new ways to not care what Dan LeBatard thinks. I’ve never listened to five minutes of audio from that show he does with his dad and Bomani Jones. But I’ve spent more hours than I care to count in radio studios and sports bars where it was on and it looks like the worst program in ESPN history. And that is saying something. Anyway, lions do not care about the opinions of sheep.

No, this blog is about facts, not opinions. Make that alternative facts. Because once again, here’s another ESPN sock puppet touting their corporate fake news about the Patriots. The fiction that they spied on the Rams practice in 2002. A lie that they Herald and John Tomase who wrote the goddamned original article admit was false. But again, at the World Wide Leader, they still talk about it like it’s real. To the point they put it on a graphic on SportsCenter last year, until Patriots fans correctly lost their shit and called them on it and they had to apologize. At 12:30 in the morning.

But you can just throw that one on the pile of all the rest of the lies. And set fire to it. Sure, Aaron Hernandez is a murderer. Who was kicked off the premises and cut from the team without a fair trial and the first hint he was involved in Odin Lloyd’s killing. The owner spent his own money to buy back Hernandez’ jerseys like a city program to get guns off the streets. Ted Wells did persecute the Patriots, and ESPN was his unindicted co-conspirator. The Snow Plow Game is so classic because it technically wasn’t against the rules. But a terrible Pats coach, Ron Meyer, beat a Dolphins legend in Don Shula by sending a John Deere tractor driven by a prison inmate out onto the ice to clear a spot for the kicker and won 3-0. It was, and is, hilarious. But it was also during the Bronze Age. And LeBatard wants to include that in the “pattern” of cheating?

The only thing he has the Patriots on that is real is Spygate. Yes, they pointed a camera at the Jets sideline. From an area in the stands that is not the designated pointing-cameras-at-the-sideline area. The football equivalent of parking in the red zone. That and I guess the crime of having three white wide receivers. Two of whom just combined for almost 300 yards in a playoff game. Those of us who like the Patriots were too busy counting their yards after catch to pay much attention to that they are, in fact, Caucasian. But of that, the team is guilty as charged.

I don’t know if LeBatard is suggesting that makes us all racist or what and like I said I don’t really care. I just want to correct the record on one last thing and point out that we can take a joke. This narrative that the Pats only win because they cheat is a joke. As are the NFL, Ted Wells, Roger Goodell, ESPN and Dan LeBatard. But we’re the only ones laughing.