If you thought a week without the Detroit Lions, Houston Texans, and Oakland Raiders was going to derail another classic week of sad NFL stats then you have underestimated Oizys, the Greek goddess of misery and suffering, who has proven herself a bring-your-lunch-pail-to-work-every-day type of gal and has never been caught loafing on the all 22. Writing this blog every week has quickly become a sick joy of mine. How did I even get here? I think this is just what happens when you're a life-long Bears fan born less than a year after they last won their only Super Bowl and all you've known is sadness and misery. As I blogged last week, the Bears are so bad not even Vegas can properly estimate them. Dealing with this team over the years slowly turns you into the Joker as you slowly realize the story of your favorite team isn't a tragedy - it's a comedy. But why then write a weekly blog subjecting other fanbases to the same sadness and pain? Simple.
Let's put a smile on that face.
Sad Stat #1: The Ravens have trailed for a total of 120 combined seconds in all three losses
Losing three games after being ahead or tied in exactly 178 of a possible 180 game minutes is some next level self-trolling. That's just 3 percent of the total trailing time of the 49ers - the team with the second least time losing. As those that read my Sad Stats Week 4 blog know, the Ravens trailed by only a combined :17 in both of their first two losses. This can still be reasonably chalked up to bad luck, but three games officially makes it a trend. And had Justin Tucker not made a 43-yard game winning field goal in Week 5, it would have put them at four losses totaling just 3:58 of total time trailing.
I don't know what's going on here but something stinks. At this point, sports betting sites may want to investigate if someone associated with the team is live betting their opponents in the second half of games. I'm certainly not above trying to capitalize if that's the case. You better believe I'll be looking for the right time to make a play next time they go up two scores.
Sad Stat #2: The three teams with the most yards gained more than their opponent all lost (Miami/Chicago/Baltimore)
This is a sad reminder that the ole trope about turnovers being back breakers rings true. The Dolphins outdueled the Vikings in the yardage game by 222 yards with a third stringer starting and a second stringer taking over, but this was not enough to overcome a -3 in the turnover difference column. The Bears were a -2 in turnovers Thursday night, but even so had a chance to overcome them had they scored a touchdown on any ONE of the three drives they got to the Washington 5-yard line or better. May as well call it -5. Finally Baltimore comes in third as they make their second showing already on this week's sad stat list with 170 worthless yards more than the Giants.
Week 6 sad stat list leader update: 1. Baltimore Ravens (2) 2. Bears/Vikings (1)
Sad Stat #3: The Indianapolis Colts went 111 minutes 20 seconds without scoring a touchdown
Let this be a reminder that just because a team wins their game doesn't mean they are removed from sad stat eligibility. Especially after watching fossil Matt Ryan last Thursday sprinting at the speed of zombie to launch a ball with all his might ten yards down the field as his receiver dives desperately backwards towards it. Luckily for Ryan he must have a good blood boy because he looked much better and was finally able to throw a touchdown pass to end the 111 minute 20 second drought. This is good for second longest such drought so far in 2022 - just behind the Chicago Bears (113 minutes 16 seconds).
Week 6 sad stat leader update: 1. Baltimore Ravens (2) 1b. Chicago Bears (2)
Sad Stat #4: The Detroit Lions have given up the most total points this year all while having the benefit of a bye
Surprise Lions fans! You thought you were safe this week but the Lions demonstrated their ability to lose a bye-week like no one else. They have given up 170 points so far this year while the Browns and Seahawks are next at 163. Even if you compare the Lions to all 1-4 teams in NFL history in a desperate attempt to make them look not terrible, it just makes things so much worse when you realize this franchise holds the worst two spots:
Sad Stat #5: The 49ers took a 16-play 80 yard drive for zero points
Nothing kills an over like a drive lasting half a quarter that ends in zero points for either team. It was a sad result, but at least there were four other teams this year that had as many or more plays on an unscored drive.
I don't know what to say Baltimore. The time losing in lost games stat was bad enough to then have to deal with all these ricochet stats too. 18-plays for a drive ending in zero points in Week 2 vs the Dolphins in a game that you blew after leading 35-14 in the 4th is tough. But I guess any scoreless 16 plus play drive is tough as all teams listed above lost.
FINAL TALLY: Week 6 sad stat leaders: 1. Baltimore Ravens (3) 2. Chicago Bears (2)
Congrats Ravens fans as your team finally held onto a lead in something without blowing it in the end. Hope that puts a smile on your face.