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We've Got Ourselves A New Member Of The Mannequin Pussy Patrol

Previously On Old Horny Dudes Getting Their Rocks Off To Mannequins

Absolutely ridiculous how easy it is to be a chick in this world and get laid. Hell, you don’t even need to be a real living human girl to catch yourself some dick. We’ve got old dudes running rampant in the streets trying to get themselves some of that sweet sweet mannequin puss. All the mannequin has to do is stand there and she/it has horny bros lining up down the block looking to get a crack at it. Meanwhile I have to stand in a crowded bar on my tippy toes (short people problems) and try to find the balance between drunk enough to be out going and not too drunk to where I’m passing out with a slice of pizza on the corner to even get a girl to notice me and let me maybe say words to her.

Love this dude’s procedure here. First he gives the quick check to see if she’s shaved or not. Nothing worse than accidentally going head first into a bush and not having any way to abort the mission. Once he realizes he’s good on that front, he has to go in for the little taste/smell check since you can’t just judge a book by it’s cover (or lack of cover). Once these sexy little minx of a mannequin passes all of homeboy’s quality requirements, he realizes he’s got that A1 puss locked down and celebrates with a nice little flick of the bean to keep her/it wanting to come back for more. Sure, the man may be a total savage. But that doesn’t mean he’s not a savvy vet of the game.

Jamie Benn totally gets what we’re talking about here.

jamie-benn

Tim