Devastating News As Genie Bouchard is Reportedly Off The Market And Dating Steelers Backup QB Mason Rudolph

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Terribly sad news on this Wednesday afternoon as it appears the lovely Genie Bouchard is off the market and in love. I for one, am crushed. It was just a few months ago when she was getting dating resumes sent to her during quarantine. Genie was on the verge of a psychotic break because of boredom and help was needed. I thought maybe this was my chance 

Well, it seems the vetting process is over and a winner has been chosen: Steelers backup QB Mason Rudolph. The dude who Myles Garrett tried to murder on the field last year. That guy!?! Goddamit. She was even in attendance for Pittsburgh's last game in Tennessee this past Sunday. Yeah, it's over folks. 

Bouchard, 26, and Rudolph, 25, are said to “have gotten pretty serious,” a source told TMZ earlier this month. Bouchard recently geotagged a photo from Pittsburgh, revealing she made a “Pitt stop.” -NY Post

Heartbreaking, but hey at least it's not Bob Menery right? That guy tried to buy a date with her months ago for charity. I'm all about raising money, but I refuse to live in a world where Bouchard and Menery are an item. I don't have anything against Mason Rudolph, aside from him winning the human lottery of being a professional athlete and very good looking at the same time. For now I just have to put on a brave face and be happy for her. 

Oh and I hope the Ravens beat Pittsburgh by 40 on Sunday for no reason in particular. 

As you may have noticed in the thumbnail, they've got a snap of Dave and Genie at the SI Swimsuit Red Carpet back in 2018. Little tbt to an all time pizza review.