There's something off about Switzerland. Never been there, but I kind of dislike the place(?). Perhaps it's their rather lackadaisical flag. Or maybe it's the fact that I picture them living in houses built of Toblerone bars with streets made of compacted Swiss Miss hot chocolate mix. It could just be that I trust no country who's best soccer player is Xherdan Shaqiri. Either way, Switzerland is an odd place to me where, quite frankly, anything could happen.
BERLIN (AP) — Residents of a Swiss town got a bit of a shock when it started snowing particles of a fine cocoa powder after the ventilation system at a chocolate factory malfunctioned.
The Lindt & Spruengli company confirmed local reports Tuesday that there was a minor defect in the cooling ventilation for a line for roasted “cocoa nibs” in its factory...
The nibs, fragments of crushed cocoa beans, are the basis of chocolate.
Combined with strong winds on Friday morning, the powder spread around the immediate vicinity of the factory, leaving a fine cocoa dusting.
"Sounds of the whispering winds of shit" -Jim Lahey
What a pleasant surprise this must've been. Speaking from the townspeople's point of view (POV), of course - it was most likely not enjoyable for the chocolate factory. Imagine waking up to a yard covered in this
shit chocolate? I'd have my reservations at first - you can never be too sure these days with all these poop maniacs - but once it's identified as chocolate, we're gucci. It's almost as if someone spilled a comically large can of that Nesquik powder you use for chocolate milk in your backyard; something I could actually get behind.
That is until everyone is forced to clean up this mess. The honeymoon period is only gonna last all of five minutes. Then the immediate question is; who the fuck is gonna deal with this mess? Are these poor Swiss families gonna be forced to clean their homes of this debris? This feels like one of those things you just can't do if you got chocolate snowed on you because of a factory accident. Either someone else is cleaning it or it's never getting cleaned. No in-between. You have to stand for something.
The company says one car was lightly coated, and that it has offered to pay for any cleaning needed — but hasn’t yet been taken up on the offer.
Personally, I'd keep the chocolate dusting. While you can appreciate the offer of a free clean car, how many other people can say their car is covered in chocolate due to a factory malfunction? Zero other people. That's enough reason in and of itself to keep it the way it is. Think of it as a free paint job and get on with your life.
It makes you wonder if this a normal occurrence in Switzerland. How often do these coco showers happen? Like, is it a known thing to not to buy the houses around the chocolate factories for this exact reason? Seems like a bonus to be quite honest. It just appears that the Swiss don't know how to appreciate small gifts. I'd be out there licking this shit up like a fucking dog. Why buy the house next to the chocolate factory if not for the free chocolate showers?
As long as the company offers to clean it up, you can pour cocoa powder on me as often as you'd like.
PS - All-time song/video/what may have you. Had to include it. There was literally chocolate rain.