Viewer Discretion Is Advised: Daniel Jones Is Looking GREAT

Looking Chris Farley GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy Images.

No offense to Tate and his "good" looking quarterback in Cleveland. But since Mr. #DIS6EPECT decided to flip the script and #DIS6EPECT my QB1 before last season, I had to one up him on his offseason body upgrade with something that could actually be tagged NSFW.

Getting skinny is cool an all (or so I've been told), but getting thicc in all the right places is MUCH better. Danny Dimes may have been able to drop a ball wherever he wants as long as his O-Line doesn't make a four man rush look like an Under Smoke blitz. But Danny Dumps can make those throws at least ten yards further with more mustard than Old Man Guldens has at his disposal. When I heard my little lamb added 9 pounds of muscle in the offseason, I hoped it either went to his hand muscles to help grip the football or his arm to add some zip. But everyone knows a quarterback's true power starts with his trunk and boy does Daniel Jones have one of those now considering the fucking vapor trail that came off this ball to Saquon.

Uh ohhhhh, is Jason Garrett actually going to use Saquon in ways that show off his crazy abilities in the passing game instead of just running him up the middle a bunch of times like Pat Shurmur did against the Jets? The NFC East is officially on notice.

Blogger's Note: Yes I know I used that Chris Farley gif earlier today and this blog could be considered uncultured. But when a gif fits perfectly, you use it and I promised Jerry Thornton on today's Podfathers that I would use the word "uncultured" in a blog today. 2 birds, one blogger's note.