I know this sounds really weird, but here it is:
My BF and I have been together for three years. We met and started dating when we were both in graduate school, but I dropped out to go back to college to pursue a different career. We are both finished now, and live together making a fairly nice combined income.
Our income is relevant because we could afford to eat somewhere nice when we're out and about, but he always wants breakfast food. When he was a child his dad couldn't stand eating breakfast-type food in the afternoon or evenings, so his mom would make him waffles/pancakes, eggs, and bacon in the evening whenever his dad was busy or out of town. it's a wonderful and safe memory for him, and when he goes to his "happy place," he says that's where he always goes.
My BF is an incredibly nice and caring person. He's emotionally tuned in to everyone and recognizes arising issues a long time before they occur. He loves animals, and is kind and gentle with every bug, bird, and pet that he comes across. He's almost always willing to turn the other cheek in social situations where somebody tries to insult him or get aggressive towards him, and usually winds up defusing the situation and having a productive discussion about whatever the issue was. Except at Waffle House.
Anytime we're out he wants to go to the same goddamn Waffle House and get breakfast food. I'm not a big eater, so I used to not really care. I would just drink coffee and read my book while he enjoyed his food. But that became impossible once he and this one cook started chirping at each other every time we went there. BF complained about his eggs one time, because he likes them a little runny and they were served hard. The cook responded by giving him scrambled eggs. When he brought it up again the cook served him two hardboiled eggs. I think it was just part of the cook's schtick, and it was kind of funny tbh, but my BF wasn't able to laugh it off. When we left he was in kind of a bad mood, but we didn't really talk about it.
The next week we were out getting some shopping done, and he wanted to go to Waffle House again. I suggested that we try out a different place, or at least a different Waffle House location, but he only wanted the same Waffle House. We went in and sat down, and once again the same cook served his eggs wrong. My BF sort of snapped at him that he wasn't interested in messing around, and wanted the correct eggs. The cook then served him a piece of toast with a hole cut out in the middle with a fried egg in it. My BF got really mad and threw the egg toast at the cook, which made the cook come around from behind the bar and throw it back at him. They ended up sort of wrestling/fighting until my BF was like "this is bullshit" and walked out. Nobody got hurt, but the few other people in there were watching and laughing a bit.
This is the crazy part: my BF keeps going back and ordering eggs and getting into fistfights with the same cook. It's almost a ritual at this point. my BF orders runny eggs, the cook serves hims ome other version of eggs, adn then they beat the shit out of each other,. I quit going with him after the second fight, but he kept going by himself. They're like Peter and the giant chicken from Family Guy, it's the weirdest thing. They've physically fought 6 or 7 times over this.
I've tried to talk to him about it a few times, but he keeps saying it's a matter of principle. I've told him to talk to the manager or something like that, but he just waves me off. Apparently that cook hasn't made him the correct runny eggs, but it's like he spends the week learning new ways of preparing eggs to piss my BF off.
The thing is, we're getting married this summer. He's accepted a job in a new city and it'll be easy for me to find work after the wedding, so we'll be moving away from his sworn enemy waffle house guy. He hasn't really been out since quarantine started, but it wouldn't surprise me if that's the first place he goes when restaurants open back up for sitting customers. But my main worry is this strange vindictive side of him I've never seen before that leads him to fight the same guy every week. The violence itself is an issue for me, but the obsession over it almost bothers me more.
Should I be worried that this side of him will come up later in our marriage? How do I get him to open up about this? Is this type of obsession a choice, or is it indicative of something deeper?
Once upon a time in the early stages of the internet you didn't care if things were true or false. It never registered that someone could be manipulating the platform to get clicks and build attention because no one took the time to care about that shit. We were much more interested in distracting ourselves from the day to day suffering of the real world. There was no pride in right or wrong. Only entertaining.
You see that video of the Bear boxing the hunter?
It was an information dump of all the stupid shit you could possibly find with absolutely zero regard for fact or fiction. And let there be no doubt guys, this was a fucking AWESOME time to be alive. Message boards and chatrooms had good vibes. Creepy? Yeah always creepy. But we were out to entertain which brings me back to the original post, regarding relationship troubles stemming from uncontrollable rage incidents at the local Waffle House.
I absolutely loved that shit. For a second there I forgot that I was on the internet and was instead seated on a faded yellow stool in semi-rural Alabama next to this couple. And as a married guy - it's a little more believable than you think. The amount of shit you learn about someone between the part you start dating and get engaged is obviously a lot but it's nothing in comparison to what comes after she says yes. You start planning weddings, you start going through finances and talking about actual life goals. Maybe she tells you she wants to open up a trampoline company with a duffle bag full of cash you never knew existed. Maybe you have an insatiable thirst for fist fighting the waffle house cook and/or anyone who disrespects your severe Oedipal complex. Little does he know it's deeply rooted in your dad's inability to make decent eggs.
Point is some shit is going to come out and you'll have to make a decision if you're going to be okay with it. Personally building all that trust is one of the notable bright spot when you get hitched. Like 100% if my wife accidentally killed someone, I'd help her hide the body and wouldn't say shit. I know that's fucked up but there's something to be said for being Ride or Die with someone. Final verdict, let these savages go until one of them dies.
BuT cArL tHeRe Is NoWaY tHat'S REALLLLL
You're not real.