Boom. A lot of news out there about these killer hornet bees and I'm thinking that's absolutely fucking terrifying. Even if it's not a real threat, anyone worth their shit carries a fear of bees with them daily because McCauley Culkin bit it in the early 90's to bee stings. And seldom saw it coming because we were just kids and that was super fucked up that they'd whack Thomas J. Old Yeller was one thing because that was a dog and we all learned responsibility. In this case I was and still and completely terrified that I'll get mobbed by bees in the woods and lose my glasses and die.
I don't wear glasses but if you're generally familiar with the Cook County forest preserve landscape, you know this is a real threat. Although to be fair, Barstool Chicago's blog activity this morning suggest that's NO BIG DEAL
And while that may be true, my colleagues are severely overlooking the scars of our collective childhoods. This should bother them a lot more than it does and again maybe that's me overplaying my hand on formidable movie bee-related movie scenes early 90's
Or maybe we can just agree that we shouldn't be talking shit about bees at the onset of what could be another global haymaker. Maybe we could just play it cool and not get face fucked like the rest of everything else in 2020, and maybe that means showing a little respect for a problem before it completely ruins our ecosystem.
Speaking of which, all you ecosystem environmentalist whatchamacallits can spare me. You people get ONE INCH and you're off to the races predicting the apocalypse
You see the problem is if you decolonize european honey bees, you remove the pollen production which helps grow the flowers which then carries the seeds for the grass that the deer graze upon which us humans eat for meat so if we wipe out the bee then everyone miserably dies of starvation
Shove it lady. I got allergies.