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Philly Sports: Ah Shit, We Suck Again

Well....fuck. 

It was fun while it lasted but I'm starting to think that maybe we actually did sell our souls for that one Eagles Super Bowl. We were so young. We were so naive. All we were talking about as Philly sports fans is just how dominant these teams were going to be in the Roaring '20s. Granted, the 20s are only 38 days old right now but still. The 20's are here and these teams fucking suck. 

First up we have the Eagles. What an absolute shit show of a season that was. I realize they were still a playoff team and they still won the NFC East. But fuck off if you think that meant anything. Winning the NFC East this year was like being the first Barstool blogger to be able to spell "mayonnaise" correctly. By all accounts, that season was a disaster which concluded in yet another Carson Wentz injury. The wide receivers. The secondary. The coaching. The anonymous sources. Orlando Scandrick. Don't let the fact that they made the playoffs blur your memory of just how awful that season was. 

I honestly can't even talk about the Sixers anymore. Charles Barkley and Shaq both put it perfectly last night. This team is soft. This team doesn't have the heart to compete. This team has all the talent in the world and they are embarrassing themselves in front of everybody with how mentally fragile they are as soon as they have to deal with a little bit of adversity. We thought this team finally took a step in the right direction when they ran Milwaukee off the court on Christmas. Since then, they've been below .500 and got shit pumped by the Bucks last night on TNT. 

And then we get to the Flyers. And I'll admit--there have been certain times this season when Flyers fans have been all sorts of cocky about this being the only good team in the city. The Eagles were unwatchable at times, the Sixers were unwatchable at times, and the only team getting it done was the Flyers. Life was good. Life was great. This might not have been a legitimate Stanley Cup contending team but they for sure looked like they might be able to at least win a playoff series for the first time since 2012. And then last night happens. 

The Flyers get scored on 13 seconds into the game and that ends up being the game winner. This team got their dicks kicked in by the New Jersey Devils. A 5-0 shit pumping. An absolutely pathetic performance. And yes, I realize that the analytics say that the Flyers controlled the majority of this game. But who gives a flying fuck about what the analytics say when the scoreboard says 5-0 bad guys? Elliott looked like trash. Phil Myers needs to go back to Lehigh Valley. Ghost seems like he's checked out. The powerplay is abysmal and they really need to just start declining penalties because it's fucking embarrassing. 

And then who even knows with the Phillies. They'll still probably stink but maybe just a little less than they typically stink. 

It just sucks because we all talked ourselves into the idea of the Roaring 20s. We thought that Super Bowl was going to be a catalyst of dominance in this city. This was supposed to be the time that these teams started to assert themselves as certified ass kickers. And…well…they couldn't be the furthest thing from it right now. So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go polish off a bottle of Buffalo Trace at 10am to cure the pain. 

@BarstoolJordie