Patriots Derangement Syndrome is at Epidemic Proportions

I don’t know about anyone else, but I needed this. Wow, what a reality check. Thanks to the always dependable crews on TV for setting me straight.

Stupid me, but I looked at a Patriots offense that is second in the league in points scored, and I thought they were doing OK. I looked at how they’re Top 10 in the league across the board in Touchdowns, Total Yards, Passing Yards, Passer Rating, Interception %, and I allowed myself to be lulled into this false sense of security about their passing attack. But I stand corrected thanks to this insightful analysis.

The Saints are 14th in the league in offense, 17th in defense. They put up 9 points against the Rams in a loss and 12 points at home while beating the Cowboys, and on the season they’ve allowed one more point than they’ve scored. But even with Teddy Bridgewater at the helm, they’re the better than the Patriots, who are on a pace for +387. Why? I don’t know. Because New Orleans has played BCS teams and New England has scheduled a bunch of mid-majors, I guess. Great work, Ryan Clark and Dominique Foxworth. You’ve outdone yourself.

Yet when it comes to Patriots Derangement Syndrome, no one has a case of it like Nick Wright has a case of it. Nobody tries harder to be the Patient Zero of this zombie virus outbreak, year in and year out. And this is truly some of his finest effort.

There are just so many layers to this Molten Lava Take parfait it’s hard to know where to begin. But I guess I’ll start with the slight-of-hand he pulls in going over the personnel. It’s the oldest trick in the Hot Take book when you want to make a team sound like they’re in total danger of meltdown. You take whoever is not there and make him out to be indispensable. I’ll concede the obvious, that the loss of Gronk has left a hole from which no light can escape. But I missed that moment when Trent Brown – good as he was – became the essential part that no one can replace. Not even Isaiah Wynn who is expected back off IR and was drafted with the 23rd pick out of a great Patriots feeder school for the exact purpose of playing LT for the next 10 years. And I’ll take a backseat to no man when it comes to my appreciation for David Andrews. I mean, look at him. He’s a fairy tale creature:

But “their best offensive lineman”? I love the guy. But Shaq Mason is their best offensive lineman and Marcus Cannon is not far behind.

Still, that’s beside the point. Where Nick really earns his Troll pay is with his claim that Tom Brady has played the worst out of the 2016 quarterback Wolfpack.

I get it. The numbers don’t lie. But Nick Wright does. Would you like to talk Passer Rating? Let’s talk Passer Rating.

For what it’s worth, Aaron Rodgers is at 22, just behind Case Keenum.

But let’s not ignore the fact he’s thrown for more Touchdowns, fewer Interceptions, more Adjusted Yards per Attempt, more Yards per Completion and More Yards per Game. Which is pretty much what quarterbacking is.

But never mind the facts. What do your lying eyes tell you? Specifically what do the eyes of the impartial people who grade every player on every play? What’s the consensus among the workers in Cris Collinsworth nerd sweatshop, Pro Football Focus? Well this one,  evaluating overall quarterbacking, looks pretty similar:

Actually, we’re starting to see a pattern emerge. What if we focus on just passing? Again, since that’s what the job entails for the most part:

Well, I’ll be damned. As much as Pats fans like Jimmy G and Jacoby Brissett and feel a certain ownership in their success, there’s no rational argument to be made. Brady is still better than either one of them. He was when they were traded. He was last year. He is this year. And, I suspect, will be every year until the sun goes nova.

But Patriots Derangement Syndrome is the absence of rational arguments. It recognizes no statistics. No analytics. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop… ever. Until this winning stops. Which means it won’t go away any time soon.