Is Spags A First Class Assface For Maliciously "Woo'ing" During People's Shots In Cornhole? Spoiler Alert: Yes

As the story goes, last Thursday night we were entertaining clients in the office. And by entertaining clients I of course mean devolving into a degenerate mess that resulted in playing indoor cornhole/baggo till the wee hours of the morning. Good times, or so one should believe. Riggsy and I decided to play for an undisclosed amount of units. Which is fine. I’m not backing down from any challenges, even if it involves paychecks on a picnic game played freaking indoors with low ceilings in Manhattan. I’ve sadly wasted more on less worthy causes (’tis the life of an Eagles season ticket holder).

First off, I like Spags. He’s a decent dude and better host/sociopath of our dating test podcast, Swipe Drunk Love. However, it pissed me off to the moon and back is how our he started to flamboyantly “Woo” in the middle of shots. What you see above was the final round of chucks in which team Riggs/Spags ended up on top. Now, I’m not blaming my loss on Spags yelping his mating call to drunk Brooklyn hoochies/cock jockeys in my backswing, I just want to declare that it’s a HUGE violation of manhood. Anybody who participates in such actions should take the Dan Marino route and die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. ESPECIALLY when dinero or any sort of bet is on the line. I get it. He’s using the dickbag distraction tactic to win. But Spags wasn’t involved in the wager, and at that point it’s about respect. Back off and let the big boys dance or ante up like a man. Then again, I shouldn’t expect any sort of empathy from someone who has this kind of Rock/Paper/Scissors. A purely psychopathic move.

PS – The words preposterous and electric are grossly overused in today’s world. However, Riggs going straight from a gratuitous handshake to a windmill is preposterously electric. As was the celebration shuffle. Wild moves all around.