To officially close out 2019, I wanted to share some of the thoughts I feel strongest about from the year. All of these are from the early editions before I switched to videos, so these are the first time they’re coming in video form. I wouldn’t call this a “best of” because I don’t know how you define “best,” but these are just the things that really keep me up at night.
-I don’t like when someone on the street tells me to tie my shoe. Typically, I know that it’s untied and made the conscious decision to leave it untied. (I am bad at shoe tying). When someone says “Hey, your shoe is untied”, it makes me feel pressured to tie it in front of them even though I don’t want to.
-When I’m going somewhere and someone says “Say hi to ___ for me!” – I never do.
-When I have my headphones in around other people (on train, at work, on plane, etc.), I always take them off as I sneeze. I don’t want to not hear someone say “God Bless You.” I don’t expect a “God Bless You,” but if someone says it I don’t want to be rude and ignore them if I don’t hear it.
-The term “you’re welcome” is really just a “thank you” for saying “thank you.”
-When I’m at a restaurant and the server comes with our entrees but doesn’t know who got what (either can’t remember or it’s not who took the order), I like to point out who’s it is.
Waiter: “Alright who got the chicken cacciatore?”
Me (pointing to friend): “Oh that’s him.”
It’s helpful, shows I’m observant, and kind of feels like a power move.
-What happened to people with bad eyesight before glasses were invented? First pair wasn’t invented until like 1200. Before that, did some people just walk around with constant blurry vision? That must have sucked.
-The worst person to be with in any situation is someone you kind of know. With someone you know well, there’s pressure to talk but stuff to talk about it. With someone you don’t know at all, there’s nothing to talk about but no pressure to talk. But with someone you know just sort of know, there’s pressure to talk and really nothing to talk about. A killer combination.
-There should be a pornstar called Miss Direction who does sleight-of-hand magic tricks during her porn videos.
-Gift cards to specific places are useless. I’d much rather have a $25 check/cash than a $25 giftcard to Starbucks. It’s the same value, and I will spend $25 on Starbucks in my future, but I’d much rather have the freedom to spend it on whatever I’d like.
-Why do flight attendants so heavily insist that you put your tray table up for take off? They act like it’s the single most important factor for flight. Is the plane incapable of getting off the ground if one tray table is down?
-When I’m at a game, restaurant, movie theatre, etc., I always know the perfect order in which people should sit. Not everyone knows each other equally, and there’s always an arrangement that would produce maximum enjoyment for all. Unfortunately, it’s not socially acceptable to act on it and tell people where to sit. Sometimes I do it anyway though.
-Speaking of, when at an event like that where everyone sits in the same row (movies, game, play), I feel pressure to talk equally to the person on my left and right. If I make a comment to the person on my right, I’ll turn to the person on my left and make the same comment. Don’t want anyone feeling left out.
-When I’m in the car using Waze, I like to report police on the road even when there are none. People should always drive like there’s a cop around. You’ll obey the law and keep the roads safer.
-Diners: jack of all trades, master of none.
-The only reason to carry change with you is to use it at your next transaction to avoid getting change back.
-If someone says you’re “overrated”, don’t take that as an insult. That means the majority of people rate you highly, and this one person just disagrees. But they’re still acknowledging that most people think highly of you. So it’s kind of a compliment.
-When eating a meal that requires a fork and knife (steak, chicken parm, etc.), I always cut up the meat into many pieces first and then eat. Why do so many people cut off one piece at a time and eat as they go? I think that’s much more tedious and makes for a less enjoyable eating experience. I’m a believer in “work hard, play hard.” I like to get all the cutting out of the way so I can just sit back, relax, and feast.
-Why do we acknowledge someone sneezing with “God Bless You” but don’t acknowledge someone coughing?
Thank you for your time.