Boston's "Straight Pride Parade" Organizers Get Roasted At Bizarre Press Conference
VIDEO HIGHLIGHTS:
John Hugo: "The world is clown world. The world's gone crazy. 'Cause there's nothing wrong with being straight."
Santa, supporting John: "Let me say one thing - (points at journalist), if you weren't 'straight' you wouldn't be here, buddy."
Journalist 2: How many people are you expecting?
John Hugo: Hopefully about 1,000 we think. Depends. You know… a lot of it depends on how you report this. If you scare people it might have a depressing effect on the parade.
(He says this with a man who looks like he's wearing a secret service costume, a man in cargo shorts with beer belly & large American flag, and a man in a Santa suit, all by his side as support.)
Mark Sahady, The Flag Guy: We have hundreds of people that are already registered, and that are coming from all over the world to the United States.
John Hugo: That's what we know so far. It's our first parade, so who knows. Ah, if it was just me and Mahk (Mark) we're gonna march. Doesn't matter. We have a point to make. We think, we think it's open to be straight. That's all, and it's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't make you a hater. And, and people saying that is just bizarre. What's wrong with bein' straight? What the heck's wrong with being straight? We think it's great to be straight. Don't hate the straight.
Journalist 3: We understand that the taxpayers are upset that city resources are being wasted because you three guys can't get laid.
John Hugo, Mark Sahady, Secret Service Guy, Santa: -angry hand waving, grumbling-
At this point, Santa gets upset and seems to want to 'out' the name of that journalist's girlfriend in Philadelphia??
♦Why is Santa at the press conference? According to their website,
"When word of a parade for straights reached the North Pole, Mr. Claus decided that he must be part of the greatest parade in the history of the world."
♦Their special parade day guests?
Barbara From Harlem, Teresa Stephens Richenberger, Enrique Tarrio, G. Notes Justice, and Marvina Case, or as they are collectively known, "Uh, Who?!"
♦Also, "No registration is required but it is highly suggested in order to guarantee you can get into the parade". Ehhhh, not sure that's necessary. I feel like there's going to be plenty of space leftover.
♦The logo they're selling on shirts & mugs say "super happy fun America" and look like they were designed by the same people who made Homer's detergent.
Unsuprisingly it looks like counter-protests are in the works as well, with some predicting they'll draw a bigger crowd. However some groups, like Boston Pride, are taking what I see as the smartest route & ignoring this desperate grasp for attention:
“It’s a trolling event, designed to get a rise out of vulnerable communities. Boston Pride is not interested in responding to their bait.”
It's uncertain how this strange day will actually unfold, but one thing is certain, there are at least three guys who will still be un-laid at the end of it all. (Santa is married so unfortunately he doesn't count.)
