Burn It With Fire: Chinese Farm Breeding 6+ Billion Roaches Per Year

The World Population Clock says there are about 7.6 billion people on this Earth and the population is rising. But don’t break out the bubbly just yet; I predict a new force will soon be rising up through our drains to take us down.

That’s because the South China Morning Post says a “a giant indoor farm in China is breeding 6 billion cockroaches a year.” Almost our entire world population. Every year.

Before I carry on with the “why?”, here’s some terrifying facts about cockroaches to help build the tension.

1. They can live for a week without their heads.

2. They can hold their breath for 40 minutes & survive fully submerged in water for 30 minutes.

3. High speed, low drag. At 3mph they can spread germs all over your house with a quickness.

4. A dust-speck-sized-day-old baby roach can run as fast as its parents.

5. Penis, balls, fart, grundle. Just checking to see if you’re still reading this.

6. American cockroaches are attracted to beer. Something about alcohol mixed with hops and sugar, and their dads never being around.

7. South American roaches can grow to 2 feet long with a 1 foot wingspan. No wonder Tony Montana hated them.

8. They originated about 280 million years ago. In comparison, we’re at around 200k years.

9. ‘They can survive without food for a month’, wrote Kate, as she inhaled spoonfulls of chip crumbs in French Onion dip at 10:30am.

So back to the story. Oh right, we’re all going to die. They say it’s fully sealed and there are backups in case they get loose, but this indoor roach farm is the size of two large sports fields. They navigated whatever killed the dinosaurs, skated past the ice age, and continue to avoid rolled up newspapers around the globe – and you’re telling me they can’t find a way out of this joint? (There are many other farms like this, btw. This one’s just the biggest.)

Inside this mega roach hotel, it’s completely dark and humid with nothing but endless rows where they’re free to eat, drink, reproduce and roam as they please. The description of the sounds inside this place made me throw up in my mouth a little bit:

“Hold your breath and (you) only hear a rustling sound. Whenever flashlights swept, the cockroaches fled. Wherever the beam landed, there was a sound like wind blowing through leaves. It was just like standing in the depths of a bamboo forest in late autumn. The cool breeze blows, and the leaves rustle.”

Before they develop a solid plan to destroy us all though, they might help a little. In China they’re a common ingredient in traditional medicines and the biz has generated not only bugs, but millions of dollars. And apparently cockroach milk (yes, holy crap, I’m so sorry but that is really a thing) is one of the most nutritious milks in the world. These creatures have the potential to change lives in countries where food is scarce.

Hey Donnie, any chance you could go check that out for us?