Swaziland king renames country ‘The Kingdom of eSwatini’

King Mswati III announced Thursday that the country of Swaziland will change its name to the Kingdom of eSwatini to mark 50 years since independence from British rule.

The landlocked country, smaller than the US state of New Jersey, is economically reliant on South Africa.

Africa’s last absolute monarchy, made the announcement during independence day celebrations at a packed sports stadium in Manzini.

Wearing red military uniform, the king said: “I would like to announce that Swaziland will now revert to its original name.”

“African countries on getting independence reverted to their ancient names before they were colonised. So from now on, the country will be officially be known as the Kingdom of eSwatini.”

Damn. Being a king would be absolutely dope as hell. Renaming a country would be the shit. If I was King of America, I’d name it something way better than America. I mean, Amerigo Vespucci was alright, I guess, but just because you can draw a map doesn’t mean that the greatest country in the world should be named after you. I kinda think America should be named Washington but there’s already a state and district named Washington so that would get kind of confusing. I guess we could call it Jefferson but there’s certainly some problematic parts about ole Tommy’s past. Maybe Hamilton? Tickets for the Broadway show would fly through the roof again and I’m trying to take my daughter in a couple of weeks. I’m not gonna fuck myself on that one.

That being said, credit to this King. Renaming a country has gotta be tough. I mean, the Jaguars released new uniforms yesterday and Jaguars fans were losing their damn minds about it. Imagine waking up in Swaziland and hearing that the country is now called Kingdom of eSwatini. That doesnt really roll of the tongue. Some hate it. Some love it. For me, I think it’s ok but I do like the throwback to history in the naming. Well done, Kingdom of eSwatini. Love the name and I love the military uniform. It’s beautiful.

Bonus fact:

The king, known as Ngwenyama or “the lion”, currently has 15 wives – his predecessor had 125.

Having that many wives seems awesome but goodness gracious that is a TON of text messages.

Would you want 15 wives? Click YES for Yes and NO for No.