CONFIRMED: The Only Person LeBron Blows Besides Himself Is Ben Simmons

And here we have King James and Prince Simmons. Look at that gaze by LeBron. The man is smitten. I just hope there’s enough love left in those eyes after winning his 11th straight ring as a Sixer in 2030.

ICYMI – As seen by this reel put together by the Sixers in which the highlights are infuriatingly not in chronological order, Philly whipped up on the Cavs in Cleveland last night:

Twas a great road win vs. a higher ranked team in the playoff race. Not lost in the sauce was how seemingly smitten James was towards the likes of the Sixers, especially Big Ben. LeBron has outwardly showed Simmons respect for years now, which is odd for the self proclaimed King to do for anyone other than, well, himself:

James has always loved Simmons. And why wouldn’t he? Ben’s game is basically a young version of LeBron with the exception of not knowing which hand is dominant and not being able to shoot outside of 15 feet (we’re working on it. Probably). Not to mention Ben Simmons can apparently live on both land and in the water. WET!

Zero chance Chris Webber knows what an amphibian is, but it doesn’t matter. LeBron now blows himself and amphibians. James also seemingly has the same feelings towards Embiid, and again, why not? Well, maybe not for fellatio. I wouldn’t want to come anywhere near that Cameroonian weapon of mass destruction when it’s ready to explode. But on the court, the man is seriously unguardable. Look at this. I’ve never seen a move somehow both so dirty yet so clean at the same time:

Regardless of who or what he blows, I don’t think anyone would mind the best player in the game, and possibly of all-time, bringing his sorcery to South Philly.

If you believe it, he will come. CLICK HERE TO GET KING JAMES IN PHILLY SHIRTS

Right now the Sixers are a 6 seed in the East scheduled to face said Cavs in the first round, but are only .5 games behind the Pacers for the 5 spot. They’re also within a 2 game striking distance away from (GASP!) home court advantage with the 4 seed. Love it. Now do me a favor and CUE IT THE FUCK UP!