How Dumb Do Philly Fans Have To Be To Actually Guard A Statue Of A Fictional Character?

Like you idiots realize that Rocky’s not real, right? The most famous athlete to come out of your city is a movie character played by Sly Stallone. What a bunch of los–

Wait… what’s that? It appears I’m receiving some breaking news.

It turns out that not only am I an Eagles fan but also the man who is guarding the Rocky Statue? Well in that case…I have nothing but respect and admiration for the dedication here. And like I said in the interview, we’re not idiots. We know that Rocky is fictional. But that’s not what this statue is about. Rocky defeated Ivan Drago and ended the Cold War. The Declaration of Independence was written and signed here. This is Philadelphia. And we are a city who prides ourselves on being the scrappy little underdogs who end dynasties. And we’re looking to put one more dynasty in our back pocket on Sunday night.

P.S. – For anybody who is wondering if I’m out there 24/7 or not, just know this–I’ve logged some serious hours out there so far. I’ve spent more hours with this statue this week than I’ve spent with some of my family in years. But we’ve also started to accumulate an army of faithful watchers. So whether it’s me or any other Rocky Rider, we’ve got eyes on the statue at all hours of the day.

3 more night shifts to go. One Team. One City. One Dream.