'The Patriots Never Cheated' is a Mortal Lock for an Oscar

The source of this video – an Arizona Cardinals fan of all people – is as unlikely as his timing is perfect. Because once again the Patriots are in the Super Bowl and old grudges, allegations of cheating and accusations of favoritism are being dredged up by old conquered foes, long since vanquished. From Philly.com:

Steve Spagnuolo, who was the linebackers coach for the Eagles in 2005 when the team faced off against the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXIX, told 97.5 The Fanatic’s Anthony Gargano and Bob Cooney on Monday that he now believes late Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson was right about New England cheating during the game.

“The biggest thing we learned was make sure you have two signal callers, not one signal caller, because they may have all your signals,” Spagnuolo said, referring to the “SpyGate” scandal, in which coaching assistants under the direction of head coach Bill Belichick were caught videotaping play-calling signals from opponents’ practices.

“I remember through the course of the game Jim [Johnson] saying, ‘They’re getting our signals. They know when we’re blitzing … try to hide it.’ I remember distinctly thinking. ‘I don’t think so Jim, just concentrate on calling the game,’ ” Spagnuolo recalled. “In hindsight, he was right. When you go back and look at that tape, it was evident to us. … We believe that Tom [Brady] knew when we were pressuring him because he certainly got the ball out pretty quick.”

We’ve all heard this song before. Oh, the humanity! The Patriots cheated us. They taped our practices. They knew our blitzes. Brady was too fast for us. We were helpless to stop them. There was nothing we could do. It’s so unfair. Won’t somebody please think of the CHILDREN!!! Second verse, same as the first.  Well this time I don’t have to set the record straight for Jim Johnson, Steve Spagnuolo, Donovan McNabb who was stress-puking down the front of his jersey or Andy Reid who let the time on the game clock bleed away while he stood there with his thumb up his ass.

Only this time, I don’t need to set the record straight or speak truth to anyone from the 2004 Eagles. This noble, selfless and brilliant Arizona guy, this child of God, did it for me. And while this brilliant and timely instant classic is too late for this year’s Academy Award nominations, it’s a shoe-in for next year’s Best Short Subject Documentary.

And by then Four Games in Fall, starring some handsome devil, will have been released to win for Best Feature Length film. And Patriots Truthism will sweep the Documentary Oscars, as they should.

@jerrythornton1