Telegraph- Hundreds of kilograms of cocaine has been found concealed within pineapple shipped from South America. A joint operation between Spanish and Portuguese police resulted in the seizure of 745kg of the drug. The 10-month investigation led to nine arrests and broke up an international smuggling ring led by Colombians.
I’m less interested in the cocaine and more interested in the hollowed out pineapples. Who hollowed out all those pineapples? Who got stuck with that job? That would SUCK. Do you know how many hollowed out pineapples it takes to fit a literal ton of cocaine? I don’t know either but I bet it’s a whole lot. Imagine joining a criminal operation and being stuck with that job. You decide you’re going to go the illegal route because you can’t get a job and it’s the easiest way to make money. It’s a big decision but you have to put food on the table somehow.
So you sign up (that’s how criminal organizations work, right? You sign up like it’s a raffle?) and are ready for anything. You’re ready to do drive-by shootings, you’re ready to cut off the fingers of snitches, you’re ready to threaten jury members, you’re ready to drive a truck packed with hundreds of pounds of cocaine across a border. You’re ready for anything. So on your first day bossman looks you up and down and says, “You’ll be hollowing out pineapples.” Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck that. Fuck that. I’d quit right then and there. I’m not hollowing out pineapples for a drug organization. That’s boring. That’d be like hollowing out pineapples for a drug organization. And then it didn’t even work! They got caught! So that dude hollowed out like 800 pineapples for no reason. Hard pass.