Figuring: The New Dance Style Which Proves You Are A Big Ole White Weirdo

I dont say this lightly. These are the worst dance moves I’ve ever seen. And, to be honest, I was taken aback by the lack of support these ladies used whilst they danced in a most provocative way. Goodness gracious, ladies. Tie them things up. At least wrap em with some Ace bandages or something.

I know what you’re saying.

“Chaps, if you wanna demean the majesty of dance, I for one am not here for that.”

Buddy, you know I love dance. Dancing gets me going. I don’t have a problem with Figuring. I love to Figure. I was born to Figure. My friends call me the Figuring Fella. It’s really taken off as a nickname. Incredible. Granted, it’s no Stinky Fish Boy or Hot Wine Guy. Lest we forget, Tick Dick.

“Prove it, Chaps. Prove you like Figuring.”

me:

you: