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Kawhi Leonard Revealed He Now Knows Karate Before (Probably) Making His Season Debut Tonight

Did Pop do it again or did Pop do it again? This entire Kawhi quad injury has been a mystery for so long, I always knew deep inside that Pop had some shady master plan going on behind the scenes. While NBA teams have all been jumping on the nap and nutrition train, Pop was looking for the next big thing to stay ahead of the curve and the super teams. And apparently that big thing was to turn his defensive machine into a martial arts murdering machine like Morpheus did to Neo in the Matrix. Kawhi is even rocking the black gi, which I’m pretty sure means he is a lethal weapon and has to register those already ridiculously strong 4XL mitts with the local and federal government. Those poor wooden planks never stood a chance against Kawhi’s hands and constant state of Zen.

The first quarter of the season was about the Celtics, Cavs, Rockets, and Warriors. But now that Kawhi is back in black, the 19-8 Spurs are quietly chugging along yet again and now have a video game boss at small forward. I bet Draymond Green will think twice before he goes for Kawhi’s nuts in a game and if Zaza Pachulia tries to undercut Kawhi again, he may get a crane kick to the face that could knock his block off.

P.S. As a former orange belt (nbd) I wanted to make sure everyone read the word “Karate” correctly in their head when they saw this blog. This is the correct way to say Karate:

If you read it wrong before that video, please go back and reread it in your head correctly. Respect the biz and respect the martial art.