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Girl Calls 911 To Report A "Massive Freaking Creature", 2-Inch Spider Is Killed By Officer With Newspaper

OREGON – Authorities in Forest Grove, Ore., say a teenage girl called them earlier in August and told the dispatcher “There is a giant spider on the back of my couch, and I mean giant.” She estimated the “massive freaking” arachnid was the size of a baseball. A police officer sent to her home found a two-inch spider which was disposed of via a rolled-up newspaper.

Broad thinks 2 inches is massively huge? She must be a diamond in the rough for the Asian population in Oregon. Typical woman move blah blah blah, but that’s not even the point. If she thought in her head the spider was something the clown from IT turned into, she didn’t do enough. You deem an arachnid 911 worthy it’s also burn the house down worthy, too. Skip the 911 step and ensure the safety of humanity if you think it’s necessary.

Plus the cops, honey? Grow up. Killing spiders is solely John Goodman territory.