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We Now Understand Why the Browns Didn't Trade for Jimmy Garoppolo

JimmyG Browns



The biggest mystery of the Jimmy Garoppolo trade saga – all off-season and in the aftermath of last night’s trade – is where the hell the Cleveland Browns have been in all this. After all, they went into this year’s draft with three first-rounders, and thanks to dropping down a couple of times have two firsts and three seconds next draft. And still, crickets. I think most people’s reaction when it was announced the Pats got San Francisco’s second was “Is that all?” due mostly to the fact there’s a quarterback desperate team with more draft capital than they can possible use, so why aren’t the Patriots getting more than that from Cleveland? It just made no sense on any level.

And now it would appear we have our answer. The reason they didn’t make a better offer than the Niners is because they are the Cleveland fucking Browns.

Bear in mind as you read those Tweets that Mike Silver is boys with Hue Jackson. No disrespect intended, but Silver is incapable of talking about the Browns while Jackson is drinking a glass of water. So anything he reports, he’s hearing directly. Plus he got this response to one Tweet from Jackson’s own daughter:

Hue Jackson

So now it does make sense. The Browns didn’t land Jimmy G because they are a dysfunctional mess, with a front office of incompetent dipshits that calls it a day at 5 PM the day before the trading deadline. A management that leaves the coaching staff in the dark on major personnel moves. That is, when they’re not passing on Carson Wentz, passing on Deshaun Watson, drafting Johnny Football and not getting on the phone to Nick Caserio to find out the asking price on Garoppolo.

This morning Adam Schefter, who’s been adamant all along that there was zero chance the Patriots would trade Garoppolo this season, said a deal with Cleveland didn’t happen because Belchick didn’t want to trade him in the conference and he still holds a grudge against the Browns for firing him. In 1995. When they were still the future Baltimore Ravens. His arguments made no sense whatsoever given the fact we’re talking about a coach who traded Drew Bledsoe, the highest paid player in NFL history at the time, in his own division. And who’d made plenty of deals with the Browns, including handing them Jamie Collins for nothing at this time last year.

But now we know it’s not nearly that complicated. It’s Occam’s Razor. The theory that says the simplest solution is usually the correct one. Which in this case means the Browns are just too stupid and at war with one another to have landed their potential franchise quarterback.

And while I’m still stunned the Pats would have the balls to trade both their backup quarterbacks in the middle of the same season, from here on in, I’m the biggest Browns fan in the world. Because if that burning hot tire fire of a franchise can win a game or two, the 49ers can finish with the worst record. And the Patriots would be getting a pick one spot (33rd) after the one Roger Goodell stole from them (32nd) in LieGate. That would be the ultimate in poetic justice. Make it happen, Hue Jackson. Then get the hell out of that circus.

Belichick OJ