The Rory McIlroy EA Sports Game Obviously Sucks So Now What Golf Game Are We Supposed To Play?

The Rory game has been out for over 2 years now. Quick one word review: STINKS. The game honestly stinks. And it’s not the gameplay. I actually like the gameplay. I think it’s realistic and challenging if you put it on the proper settings (I play hardest possible for everything, gale force winds, no aids, but leave turbo and spin on; should be a grind out there not a 25-under kick-in fest). They eliminated the “everywhere not on this hole is OB” glitch and made bunkers more realistic. The way the ball interacts with the trees is also improved; nothing worse than when your ball’s clearly going through a gap then you hear the leaves ruffling sound and by your ball magically falls out of the sky. Total bullshit.

But honestly none of that really matters. The gameplay has been good enough for like a decade it’s just all about the courses. And the course list in Rory is horrific. It’s actually offensive. It offends me. When you turn on the box, fire up the game, get yourself all jacked up then scroll through the courses you actually get offended. How the fuck could they do this to me? There’s like 3 courses and one of them is an island with battleships and shit. Crazy town.

It’s simple guys. GOTTA have Augusta and Pebble. Just have to. Not having them is like Goldeneye without Facility. Can’t do it.

This list?

Honestly fuck you EA. A rudely short list and the courses it does have are mostly boring repeats. Yeah Banff is lovely but you can’t run it over and over again like Augusta or Pebble. Not even close. Brutal.

So the question is, what do we do now? We all have that urge to sit our cute butts down, grab the sticks, and tool around for 18. Maybe 36 if we don’t have to be up too early. Come home from work, order some food, crack a beer and take your shot at one of the world’s greatest courses. Cruise around at your own pace. Take a shit or flip it over to the baseball game if you need to. It’s great. Can’t get this on Rory because we’re dodging cannon fire in Japan instead of negotiating the swirling (spinning in a circle) wind in Amen Corner.

So now what do we do? Last night I fired up Tiger ’12 on 360. It was awesome but is it sustainable? I like to be able to play against people online and turns out no one’s playing Tiger ’12 online in 2017. There’s some other game called The Golf Club but, I mean, it’s called The Golf Club. Apparently it’s realistic but boring. Nobody actually cares about realism we care about entertainment. NHL’s default settings are most realistic but we turn game speed all the way up for a reason.

So what’re we doing? Committing to Tiger ’12? It’s a great game minus caddie mode (gotta turn it off). Are we coinciding a Tiger ’12 return with a Tiger Woods 2017-2018 comeback?

Gotta be honest, really like the way that sounds.

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