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Lovely Lady Argued With Her Man In The Shower And Naturally Proceeded To Rip His Genitals Clean Off

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LITITZ — More details have emerged in the arrest of a 22-year-old Lititz woman accused of sending a man to the hospital for treatment of an injury to his genitals after an argument in the shower last month. Police say Abigail Geiger, of the 700 block of Wickshire Circle, got into an altercation with a male victim while they were in the shower. During the argument, the victim attempted to leave, but Geiger allegedly grabbed him by the genitals to prevent him from exiting. The victim eventually pushed her away, forcing her to release her grip and causing bruises on her back. The victim then fled the home and went to a hospital for treatment of puncture marks and scratches to his genitals, according to the criminal complaint. Police determined that Geiger was the aggressor in the altercation, and charged her with simple assault domestic violence, according to the criminal complaint.

What a keeper. We’ve all been there. I think. I mean, I’ve spent wayyyyy too much time having fake arguments with the ex in the shower (I’m alone and still somehow lose the fight). But how does one have a verbal altercation in the shower that leads to a physical confrontation for the lineage, you ask? Well, besides having one of the parties be clinically psychotic, I can imagine how it might happen. Shower sex, like Communism or (even more debilitating towards mankind) Chip Kelly’s uptempo offense, is a decent concept that’s almost impossible to have come to a worthwhile fruition. Zero space, no good angles, and enough liquid in your face where a waterboarding simulation is not entirely out of the question. Usually these conflicts can be resolved with casually exiting said shower. But I guess occasionally you get Ol’ Batshit Blue Eyes who used the enclosed space to her advantage and tug her man’s nuts clear off his body. Never stick your dick in, or around, crazy.

And yes, I know she didn’t literally rip his genitals from the body, but she might as well have. As a survivor and Patriot to testicular mutilation, it doesn’t matter. It’s all bad as you never want to mess with the Frank and/or Beans. And this is the type of bitch who can’t wait to dig her nails back into those balls. Look at that devious smile. She knows what she did, and she can’t wait to do it again. Lock her up for life.

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