Charlize Theron throwing 101 on the radar.
Didn’t watch the Oscars? Cool, you didn’t have to, here is everything you missed and by that I mean I’m just going to make fun of some people and not actually talk about anyone who won anything. Let’s Go.
Jennifer Lawrence. You won’t believe this but she fell AGAIN! I know, it’s crazy, it’s almost like she’s doing this whole “I’m the cutest, most fun girl in Hollywood and I always fall because I’m not a princess” routine on purpose. Almost.
Still hot as fuck
Liza Manelli, nip show
Annnd I puked
Oh you thought we were done with old school titties? No no no.
Meryl Streep and Pharrell basically fucked in a really weird and uncomfortable way.
And Amy Adams got some sloppy seconds.
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) March 3, 2014
Watch it Bitch you’re too close!
And the biggest winner of the entire night was Steve McQueen, not only for actually winning but for having the single most outrageous clap game in the world. Unparalleled. Enthralling. Hypnotic. Slap Hands!