This is incredible. Justice prevails! Gil Roberts – an Olympian who won gold in Rio as part of the 4×400 relay team – was suspended in May by the Anti-Doping agency for a failed drug test. What a surprise, another sprinter on the sauce, yawn. But wait! Could it be…could we really have a legitimate excuse for it? For the first time ever could there be a reasonable explanation? Roberts claimed to have one – that he simply got too much ass from his girlfriend during Netflix And Chill (literally, it’s in the report) while she was taking bootleg sinus infection medication she got from a Hindi man out of his broom closet in India. Seriously. Like the “I was hacked” excuse on steroids no pun intended.
Except this actually worked!
Via the USADA:
Incredible. Of course some expert witnesses disagreed that this was rationally possible, but at the end of the day, he was cleared by the arbitrator.
Gil Roberts – not a cheater, just an insanely intense maker outer.
Ladies, get you a man who kisses you so passionately he ingests so much of your shady Indian medication that he fails Olympic drug tests.