Track Olympian Gets Suspension Reversed After His Failed Drug Test Turned Out To Be From "Kissing Frequently and Passionately" With His Girlfriend

Rio 2016 Olympic Games - Day 15 - Athletics

This is incredible.  Justice prevails!  Gil Roberts – an Olympian who won gold in Rio as part of the 4×400 relay team – was suspended in May by the Anti-Doping agency for a failed drug test.  What a surprise, another sprinter on the sauce, yawn.  But wait!  Could it be…could we really have a legitimate excuse for it?  For the first time ever could there be a reasonable explanation?  Roberts claimed to have one – that he simply got too much ass from his girlfriend during Netflix And Chill (literally, it’s in the report) while she was taking bootleg sinus infection medication she got from a Hindi man out of his broom closet in India.  Seriously.  Like the “I was hacked” excuse on steroids no pun intended.

Except this actually worked!

Via the USADA:

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Incredible.  Of course some expert witnesses disagreed that this was rationally possible, but at the end of the day, he was cleared by the arbitrator.

Gil Roberts – not a cheater, just an insanely intense maker outer.

Ladies, get you a man who kisses you so passionately he ingests so much of your shady Indian medication that he fails Olympic drug tests.