I Could Listen To This Irish Horse Racing Fan Talk About How His Friend's Wife Left Him All Day


Straight savagery. All day. I wanna listen to that guy all day long. Because here’s the thing about accents, and Irish accents in particular. If an American tells that story about the dude’s wife leaving him it’s really sad. It kills the mood and no one is laughing. Everyone is frozen in fear and sympathy. An Irish dude tells the story though? It’s a mother fucking party. Everything sounds awesome when an Irish guy tells a story. Even a tale of woe where a guy’s wife leaves him. Everyone was in hysterics talking about that guy getting left by his life. 4 BLACK BAGS OF CLOTHING OUTSIDE HIS DOOR THERE WAS! If I could change one thing about me it wouldn’t be my receding hairline or my patchy facial hair or my cankles or my wrists that look like the rest of forearm. No no no. It would be that I wish I had an Irish accent. Because then it wouldn’t matter that I’m just a dumpy white guy with nothing to offer. I’d be a dumpy white guy with an Irish accent and chicks dig the fuck outta that.