$25,000 Anal Rejuvenation Surgery is All the Rage


MoneyishThere’s a buttload of money in anal rejuvenation.

Just ask Dr. Evan Goldstein, a Manhattan surgeon who has pioneered the practice of making buttholes beautiful and more sexually compatible through Botox, tightening and loosening procedures.… that run from $5,000 to $25,000 depending on the severity of the case.

“Sometimes people come with really bad booties,” said Dr. Goldstein. …

That was the case for Joseph, 45, who asked to speak to Moneyish under an alias. …“I had sex with my husband, and it’s like, ‘Wow – I’m 20 years younger!’” he said. “This is not a stretched-out ass. It’s back to how it was when he met me 13 years ago.” …

And John Treadwell, a patient concierge at the Dupage Dermatology and Laser Center in Illinois, told Moneyish that, in the last 30 days alone, he’s already had more than 42 requests for anal rejuvenation using the DiVa laser. …

For Rob, 44, from Brooklyn, who lost his husband to lung cancer two years ago, anal rejuvenation and hemorrhoid removal helped him get back into the dating game. …

So the butt Botox, years of surgery and $70K tab were worth it when he was finally able to have bottom sex again recently.

“How does it feel? Whoo-hoo! Yes! It was a victory,” he said. “And the guy was like, ‘Wow, you have a beautiful butthole,’ which just made me feel so good. This is all I wanted, from the beginning – for this tiny little thing to look beautiful.”

My first instinct was to leave this one be and maybe let Gay Pat handle it. But then again, one doesn’t actually have to be into bottom sex to appreciate the wonders medical science is providing for those who do.

It’s a brave, new world we’re living in. An age of wonders. Where medical science can reverse the aging process. If not on people, at least on our buttholes. And that’s a pure good we can all celebrate.

I’m just realizing now that as a hetero man, I take my starfish for granted. I only ask it to perform one function, and as long as it’s doing it’s job, I completely disregard it. It never occurred to me the pressure men who are into bottoming are under. They have to not only make sure theirs are healthy enough to multitask, they have to worry about appearances as well. I mean, that’s a lot to think about. That’s like having a Swiss Army Knife that not only has to perform many jobs, it has to pass inspection too. And all that spit and polish doesn’t come cheap. As a guy who has never even seen my balloon knot, has only a vague idea what it actually looks like and never concerns myself with it, I totally feel for these guys who have to maintain theirs.

So good for them they have medical pioneers like Dr. Goldstein  and the good people at DuPage, rejuvenating and beautifying their buttholes and making them good as new again. These doctors are performing Botox, tightening, loosening and DiVa laser-guided miracles. And when they do, that’s a victory we can all share. Godspeed, gentlemen.