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What If I Told You Avocado Toast Has The Power To Bring Down The Entire Housing Market?

Time - Freely spending on avocados — the pricey, popular superfruit beloved by young people — may be one of the reasons why some young people can’t afford a house, according to Australian millionaire and property mogul Tim Gurner. “When I was trying to buy my first home, I wasn’t buying smashed avocado for $19 and four coffees at $4 each,” Gurner told the Australian news show 60 Minutes.

Gurner isn’t the only Australian critic of young people who choose to spend a lot on avocados. Mashable pointed to an October article from The Australian columnist Bernard Salt criticizing those who spend a lot on them. “I have seen young people order smashed avocado with crumbled feta on five-grain toasted bread at $22 a pop and more,” he wrote.

“Twenty-two dollars several times a week could go towards a deposit on a house,” he added.


FUCK. Who knows about this? How far up does this go? The evidence is clear- Millennials buying avocado toast is going to bring down the housing market like never before. Is this Big Avocado trying to infiltrate our lives and make sure the housing market stays down forever? Is the Avocado lobby in the ear of brunch establishments everywhere trying to keep us from buying homes? They just want everyone to be renting tiny apartments in overcrowded cities or living in their parents basements until the end of time because once 90’s kids own a house, they stop spending money on cados? Is that it?

Either way, shout out to millionaire Tim Gurner for letting the youth of the world how to become prosperous in life. Be like him…wait what?

News - His grandfather gave him $34,000 to kickstart the project and Mr Gurner spent four weeks renovating the space while getting his gym license by correspondence. Within six months, the place was pumping.

So there you go. Either stop eating avocado toast, or get a $34,000 loan. Otherwise, enjoy your mother’s basement for the rest of your life. God damn lazy millennials.