The Final RAW Before WrestleMania Was NOT The Ultimate Thrillride
Last night’s edition of the longest televised weekly episodic television show on television, Monday Night RAW, was the last one before this Sunday’s “Show of Shows” WrestleMania. The “go home” show, if you will, where all feuds and storylines have one last chance to grab your attention, and hopefully convince you to subscribe to the WWE Network.
I don’t think it really did any of those things at all.
The final segment was promoted a face to face confrontation because Brock Lesnar and Bill Goldberg, which is apparently the main event of WrestleMania. We’ve seen Bill absolutely dominate Brock at every turn leading into last night, so you’d assume Lesnar would show some signs of life and add the intrigue of “what if?” to this match. What if Brock’s figured out how to side step the spear? What if there’s a reversal to the Jackhammer? What if Brock catches him first?
Nope, Brock got speared. Dead guy. Worst WM go-home since Brock and Roman had a tug of war over the belt? Yep! It was actually kind of hilarious. At some point Paul Herman should step in and say “You have just removed all hope any casual fan or child had that WrestleMania’s main event wouldn’t be a squash. They’re not going to buy it now.”
Why didn’t they just pull apart brawl that shit? Everyone loves pull apart brawls. Blood too. Use the packets, I don’t care, just make sure I see color.
The one feud on RAW with a fantastic build is Chris Jericho vs Kevin Owens, and that was continued wonderfully. After Samoa Joe interfered in Kevin’s no disqualification match with Sami Zayn, Y2J evened the odds and finally announced that Kevin Owens has made the list. It didn’t sound like the crowd was fully there for it on TV, which is strange because Brooklyn was RABID for the list add last week, but it was the perfect closing segment to that feud nonetheless.
Roman Reigns and The Undertaker’s segment was very cookie cutter, very Undertaker Mania feud, and just what it needed to be. From Reigns’ tone, I think there’s a good chance we’re seeing a heel turn on Sunday, and that *clap emoji* would *clap emoji* be *clap emoji* fuckin *clap emoji* lit.
The Undertaker appearing behind Roman, and Roman not giving a shiiiiit was amazing. It reminded me a lot of when Superman flies in behind Batman, and Bats is like, “Fuck your magic, I’m going to kill you.”
In other feuds, the women’s fatal four way segment/match was a clusterfuck, and I hope more chemistry between the four is developed before Sunday.
Enzo and Cass vs The Club vs Cesaro and Sheamus seems to be a ladder match now, and my asshole is already clenched in fear for Enzo. Please stay safe with all of those hosses. Sheamus certainly couldn’t.
Sorry for no NSFL tag. I didn’t get one last night so I wanted you guys to go through that with me. I’m VERY excited that we won’t be missing out on the crazy spotfest this year, and with the talent involved, expect it to be more hard hitting than ever.
Look out for this same-styled recap of SmackDown tomorrow morning, and a full WrestleMania preview on Friday.