Princeton's Reunion Committee Decides Star Wars Stormtrooper Costumes are a Trigger

So it seems the Princeton Class of 2012, zany, madcap punsters that they are, came up with “Revenge of the Fifth” as their reunion theme. One would expect there’d be a Star Wars theme to the party. Cantina music. A punch that looks like blue milk. Served with little lightsaber straws. A Death Star mirror ball. Sarlacc pit cupcakes. Decorations like Ewok plush toys and Han frozen in carbonite. Probably a photo booth with a Mos Eisley backdrop. And of course, cosplay in Stormtrooper armor.

Yeah, about that. Not so fast, nerf herder. According to the latest dispatch from the Party Planning Committee, too many people were triggered by the Stormtrooper idea:

“[A] few of our classmates reach out expressing concern over our choice of Stormtrooper as our costume inspiration. We have since been informed of the origin of this word and its connection to early- and mid-20th century Germany. This is something neither we nor anyone on your Reunion Committee was aware of, but something we take very seriously. Tonight we made the unanimous decision to remove these costumes.”

I honestly can’t decide if this is hilariously disturbing or disturbingly hilarious. Or what we need to be more alarmed about: That fictional soldier costumes from a 40 year old Sci-Fi franchise can be microaggressions to these little Hoth snowflakes, or that in an entire group of Ivy League graduates in their late 20s, not one of them ever heard the term “Stormtrooper” outside the context of Star Wars.

Since I have so little respect for the state of higher education already, I’ll skip the latter and go with the former. How the name of the Almighty Jabba can someone who was born in like 1990 even pretend to be offended by a common term because it gets its derivation from Nazi Germany? Do the math, you privileged little pieces of Bantha shit. A New Hope came out in 1977, which was only 32 years after the fall of the Third Reich. And was an immediate worldwide phenomenon. Meaning millions of the actual people who actually suffered at the hands of the actual Brown Shirts were still alive. People dragged from their homes in the Warsaw Ghetto, lost their businesses to mob violence on Kristallnacht or survived the death camps somehow managed to hear George Lucas use the term Stormtrooper without needing a safe space. But a bunch of 27-year-olds from Princeton are mortally offended to the point they have to hide inside their emotional Tauntaun until the pain goes away.

As a great Jedi Master once said, fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. And hate leads to the pussification of America.